By Jodi Clager & Courtney Enlow | Podcasts | November 25, 2015 |
By Jodi Clager & Courtney Enlow | Podcasts | November 25, 2015 |
We have your How Did This Get Made primer here.
Con Air: Live with Seth Grahame-Smith - Episode 108
Quoth the Zouks:
This movie starts and it’s great. This movie ends and it’s great. And in between, I’m fucking rock hard. This movie is pretty fantastic.
June’s Moment of Confusion:
It gets me so upset when people are incarcerated for too long or they go to jail and they shouldn’t, and - yes. Seven years is upsetting! It’s upsetting.Jason: And that’s just for a fictional character!
Paul’s Description:
I would argue that the one thing the movies doesn’t do is make sense.
Guest Glory:
Does the Army send all of its Rangers home via tugboat?
Mac & Me with Adam Pally - Episode 10
Quoth the Zouks:
And it’s never like, “Hey, Eric, are you fucking whistling?” “No.” “Then there’s a goddamn alien in the car, so someone better figure this out, because that fucking whistle is INSANITY.”
June’s Moment of Confusion:
If they can bring this kid back to life, why can’t they fix his legs?
Paul’s Description:
Mac is very crafty, because he times his appearances with that one kid’s sunglasses. The kid would put on the sunglasses, Mac would appear. He’d take them off and Mac would disappear.
Guest Glory:
“They look like if Dizzy Gillespie got caught in a fire.”
“I think Wall-E was based on this movie.”
Maximum Overdrive: Live with Andy Daly - Episode 119
Quoth the Zouks:
Again, unfortunately I think any question we come up with for this movie ends with the answer cocaine.
June’s Moment of Confusion:
Are we to believe that all of this trouble was caused by the gravitational pull?
Paul’s Description:
My issue with the diner and everyone in it is - they’re all HORRIBLE people.
Guest Glory:
Stephen King’s statement about cocaine is not fair to cocaine. You could make a decent movie on cocaine.
You don’t think these 18-wheelers have some rudimentary understanding of the architecture of the gas station?
Rhinestone:Live with Matt Jones - Episode 97
Quoth the Zouks:
I speak offensive Japanese. I watched a lot of Sixteen Candles growing up.
June’s Moment of Confusion:
He sounded okay. He sounded alright.
Paul’s Description:
Stallone drives a cab in this movie like Beauregard drives a cab in the second Muppets movie.
Guest Glory:
Matt: I will say, there’s a little-known fact about Dolly Parton that you may notice from this trailer.Paul: Go ahead.
Matt: She has HUGE BOOBS. I mean ridiculously big boobs.
Death Spa: Live with Horatio Sanz - Episode 122
Quoth the Zouks:
I hesitate to call this a film or even a picture. “Oh, I went to the pictures last night.” No. This is like, moving images that add up to just nonsense.
June’s Moment of Confusion:
I want to really create a distinction, for myself, between gyms and spas. I just want to understand, be they the same? I don’t think they are. Maybe it was different in 1983 but to me a spa is a spa, and a gym is a gym.
Paul’s Description:
Is she a ghost in the machine and is she haunting the place? Or is she just haunting the body of her brother? Or is her brother, like, Anthony Perkins in Psycho and he’s acting as her, but is not her?
Guest Glory:
(about a man in a “vagina coat”) He looks like the king of gay marriage.
88 Minutes with Pete Holmes - Episode 32
Quoth the Zouks:
That’s like the most dirty…’My most secure area.’ ‘Where did the man touch you?’ ‘My most secure files area.’
June’sPete’s Moment of Confusion:
And can I please, one more thing about that…was she blind? No one else was confused—I know she wasn’t really blind, but there’s a moment…I’m being vulnerable right now, I thought that another twist was that she was blind.
Paul’s Description:
[Al Pacino’s hair is] like Bruno Mars’s pompadour got a pompadour.
Guest Glory:
Holmes’s Pacino impression cannot be described in words and must only be experienced. “Thanks for the cookies.”
From Justin to Kelly: Live with Nick Kroll - Episode 57
Quoth the Zouks:
It’s spring break, so a lot of times your outfit gets covered in jizz.
June’s Moment of Confusion:
June: The big question I have is could they hear each other singing?Jason: …’Cause I did write at one point ‘cause they’re looking for each other and keep missing each other, ‘you’re singing the same fucking song.’
Paul’s Description:
Paul: ‘What if we do Grease with two people that don’t know they’re gay yet?’ Great idea.Jason: We did it; it was Grease.
Guest Glory:
It’s Kelly Clarkson at her most controlled. This is Kelly Clarkson where like Simon Cowell or whatever monster works for him is like ‘if you don’t lose 10 more pounds, we will take off a finger.’ And she is doing her best. Like, she is doing her best.
Lake Placid: Live with Nate Corddry and Paul F. Tompkins - Episode 107
Quoth the Zouks:
Do you say Reesie’s Piecies? It’s only been brought to my attention that it’s Reese’s Pieces. I’m being dead serious. Reesie’s Piecies. It makes no sense, but it’s right. They are piecies of Reesie’s!
Paul’s Description:
This is essentially a horror film for animals.
Guest Glory:
Nate: I worked on a show that [David E. Kelley] wrote and he writes all his scripts long-hand.Paul: [outraged Hulk scream] EUUGHHHHHH! NO! NO!
Nate: On yellow legal paper.
Paul: Yeah, of course, on yellow legal paper! That’s what they all do! Then they hand it off to some fuckin’ poor assistant like ‘eh, type this up!’ You gotta sort through their fuckin’ chicken scratch of genius.
Winter’s Tale with Andy Daly - Episode 83
Paul’s Description:
This movie…I wanna give it, like, a participation ribbon.
June’s Paul’s Moment of Confusion:
Paul: Was his dick too warm? Did he kill her because—Jason and Andy: NO.
Jason: She was poisoned by the angel. Wait a second…wait—WHAT? Hold on. OK. This is a June moment. So in your mind, his dick was so hot he exacerbated her fever.
Quoth the Zouks:
He bones her to death. His hot dick kills her. He takes her temperature with his man-ometer and she overheats. Deadsville.
Guest Glory:
He [went back to Grand Central Station] because that’s where the horse was hanging out and now I understand why they told us the stupid fact that the horse has been hanging out at Grand Central Station because there’s a horse hanging out at Grand Central Station.
Reindeer Games with Howard Kremer - Episode 52
All categories are combined in this one mellifluous video clip.