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The 10 Most Deliciously Bonkers Episodes of 'How Did This Get Made'

By Jodi Smith | Podcasts | September 5, 2016 | Comments ()

By Jodi Smith | Podcasts | September 5, 2016 |


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I’ve talked with you before about the genius that is Earwolf podcast How Did This Get Made. Hosts Paul Scheer (The League, NTSF:SD:SUV:), June Diane Raphael (NTSF:SD:SUV:, Drunk History, Anchorman 2 and Scheer’s wife), and Jason Mantzoukas (The League, The Dictator, Neighbors) watch a terrible movie that they love or hate, and then they discuss the more insane and inexplicable portions of it on the podcast. Scheer then reads Amazon reviews from those unstable enough to give the chosen flicks 5-star reviews.

It’s even better than it sounds.

The trio have powered through 115 (including the “lost” episodes) of the most heinous piles of garbage ever put to celluloid. Some were flicks I’d never heard of and others were old favorites that seemed so much better when I was a kid. Many of the episodes are pure joy, filled with riffs and discussions that can make me howl with laughter upon every re-listen. A few episodes are just meh, but let’s chalk that up to missing Mantzoukas or finding a rhythm with the series.

Then there are the episodes that are just straight-up bonkers, giving birth to riffs of legend and rants for the ages. I’d like to say you won’t believe what earned the number one spot, but if you’ve ever listened to HDTGM, it will not be a surprise.

10. Roadhouse Live with Doug Benson

Quoth the Zouks:

“Bareback fuck Kelly Lynch, because it’s the 80s, so we don’t need condoms, right? WRONG. AIDS JUST HAPPENED….She’s a doctor!…She’s like, ‘You’re a bouncer, I’m sure you’re safe, put it in me raw, who cares!’”

June’s Moment of Confusion:

“Okay, so he says ‘I hate this place’, acknowledging that there are a lot of animals who are dead here and stuffed. So in that moment where he’s shooting the polar bear, does he…he genuinely thinks that polar bear’s real?”

9. Gymkata Live with Michael Showalter

Quoth the Zouks:

“He had a body type I found deeply confusing. I didn’t know what was going on up top, or down below. I couldn’t make heads or tails of that guy’s body situation. And his face was a goddamn mess. His face to head, with the headband scenario was…ehh…very weird.”

June’s Moment of Confusion:

“Now was that…here’s my question. Was the first face we saw, was that a person he had killed and taken his face and sewn it up to the back of his head…”

Paul’s Description:

“It’s like a bad James Bond movie. Everything is…it’s like…it’s like you showed a James Bond film to someone who was like, blind in one eye, slightly deaf, and foreign, and you were like ‘Now you write one!’.”

Guest Glory: Just the fact that Showalter not only understands the plot, but can actually articulate it to clarify for the audience is bonkers as all hell.

8. Howard the Duck Live with Kristen Schaal

Quoth the Zouks:

“There’s a boozy, birdy housewife with a glass of chardonnay and her tits out diddling herself in the bath. Guess what this isn’t for? Fourth graders. Guess what this is for? My spank bank.”

June’s Moment of Confusion:

(referring to Howard coming from a planet of evolved ducks) “Later on we learn that the ducks are in the process of evolving to humans, right?…So…when will the ducks be us?”

Guest Glory: Schaal is filled with information and uncanny comedic timing in this episode, so I couldn’t really choose just one quote.

7. No Holds Barred Live with Thomas Lennon

Zouks, Lennon, and Paul have a delightful exchange about finding old Playboys in the woods as kids.

Guest Glory:

“Oh, you can see the outline and veins of his cock every single scene. It’s the one scene where you cannot see actual vein-age and like the pulsing of his heart from his dick. Like fucking ET where it’s just like, ‘wow the Hulk’s pulse rate has gone up because his veins are throbbing in his dick’.”

6. Over the Top Live with Bobby Moynihan

Quoth the Zouks:

“This movie is structured like a romantic comedy between a man and a child. This is a straight-up pedophile, incestuous love story.”

June’s Moment of Confusion:

(referring to the discontinuity of Stallone’s character last name being said as Hawk and Hawks) “…or maybe he decided the instant he has a family, “we’re the Hawks”.”

Guest Glory:

Paul: “I had the Over the Top toy as a kid.”
Bobby Moynihan: “Was it a rape whistle?”

5. Cobra Live with Brian Posehn and Rhett Miller

Quoth the Zouks:

(referring to the fact that Stallone tried to take credit for the book that inspired him to write Cobra) “By the transitive property of mathematics, I’ve now written your book.”

Guest Glory:

Zouks: “There was a baby yesterday after I talked about vaginal discharge.”
Brian: “Well, that is what a baby is…”

4. Monkey Shines (no guest)

June: “Do you guys think that Ella was doing anything with the human brains that a regular monkey couldn’t be trained to do?”
Jason: “Yes.”
June: “Such as…?”
Paul and Jason: “Murder.”

3. Demolition Man Live with Wyatt Cenac

Zouks:

“I’m just gonna…should just go…SANDRA BULLOCK IS 100% HIS DAUGHTER, RIGHT?…Then they had the sex scene and I was like, ‘This is gonna be really weird when they reveal she’s his daughter’ I was kinda okay with it. But then he kisses her and I was like ‘Barf’. And by ‘Barf’ I mean ‘barf out of my weiner’. I came.”

June’s Moment of Confusion:

June accidentally defends some racist ad-libbing by Wesley Snipes.

Guest Glory:

“Why did the lady who made cheeseburgers look like Frieda Kahlo?”

Actually, everything Wyatt does in this episode is pure gold.

2. The Devil’s Advocate Live with Julie Klausner

June: “This whole storyline they set up about Charlize Theron’s character having horrible style and taste is so ridiculous. We’ve only seen her looking quite good.”
Paul: “Another example of gorgeous people being treated like…”
June: “ANIMALS! She’s stunning, she’s absolutely stunning!”
Jason: “She’s gorgeous and Al Pacino sidles up to her and is like, “Really? Ya ugly dumdum. Is this what you’re gonna look like? Is this how you’re gonna show yourself?”“
Julie: “He basically negs her. The devil negs her into cutting her hair.”

1. Sleepaway Camp with Zack Pearlman

Aside from June’s inability to refrain from using gendered pronouns to refer to the killer and the general WTF-ness of the movie itself, I think that this video sums up this episode’s bonkers quite well:


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