Tom Cruise Crawled in Bed With Cartoon Villain David Zaslav

After talking Paramount into dropping a metric ton of money on Mission: Impossible - Dead Reckoning only to watch it smash against the windshield of Barbie because Xenu doesn’t move release dates, Tom Cruise has reportedly set up shop at Warner Bros. The same Warner Bros. that’s on life support and trying to merge with Paramount, so your guess is as good as mine as to why everyone’s writing glowing statements about this new partnership. (THR)

Why is Travis Kelce doing Justin Timberlake a solid? (Lainey Gossip)

Lindsay Lohan made a surprise appearance at the Mean Girls premiere. (Celebitchy)

The Supreme Court is going to let Idaho kill pregnant people because, as it turns out, the issue of picking justices was not a “scare tactic” during the 2016 election. (Wonkette)

From Dustin: The song was cheesy and omnipresent for a while in the ’80s, but it really is remarkable that they managed to get all these people in the same room to record it. (YouTube)

After the Alaska Airlines Boeing Max 9 debacle, United went ahead and checked out one of its own Max 9s, and well, maybe don’t click if you’re anxious about flying. (NYT)

From Jen: Welcome to what may be Elon Musk’s biggest f*ckup, which is pretty impressive given his track record of never not f*cking up. (Threads)

Devery Jacobs slams the idea that Echo and Kahhori from Marvel’s What If? are “repetitive” characters. (The Mary Sue)

From Chris: This is probably just a tease, but I would watch the hell out of this spin-off if it happened. (Out)

Mallrats killed Shannen Doherty’s film career, which only just now occurred to Kevin Smith who is very sorry. (Variety)

From Steven: So that moon lander that was carrying a bunch of Star Trek actors’ and presidents’ ashes to the moon? And the Navajo protested because that’s their moon? Yeah, it sprung a leak and is now basically adrift in space. (Live Science)

Having listed the ways that Amber Benson’s Slayers: A Buffyverse Story doesn’t quite work as an audiobook, ardaigle goes for the twist. “But guess what I DON’T CARE. GIMME MORE. If you liked the show, I can almost guarantee you will find this to be a fun nostalgic journey.” Are you interested in this kind of Buffyverse expansion? (Cannonball Red 16)

From Kayleigh:

📹 Citizens of the Osage Nation react to @lily_gladstone's Golden Globe win ❤️ (via thetristane on tiktok) pic.twitter.com/aM9qGiFtA5

— Lily Gladstone Updates (@LilyGUpdates) January 8, 2024