Robert Downey Jr. Is Not Coming Back As Iron Man, Says Kevin Feige

By Mike Redmond | Pajiba Love | December 3, 2023 |

By Mike Redmond | Pajiba Love | December 3, 2023 |

Last month, a Variety exposé on the behind-the-scenes turmoil at Marvel reported that the studio was trying to find a way to bring back the original Avengers as the MCU continues to navigate through a massive slump thanks to farting out way too much sh*t. — I use only the most technical of industry terms. — Since then, Chris Evans has issued a denial by saying no one has told him about it, and now, Kevin Feige is denying that Robert Downey Jr. will return as Iron Man because his death in Endgame was a major moment. “We all worked very hard for many years to get to that, and we would never want to magically undo it in any way,” Feige said. Here’s the thing, I absolutely believe the Variety report because Marvel would be out of its gourd if it wasn’t actively trying to bring back the old crew to stop the bleeding at the box office. Sure, it’d be a cheap, blatant cash grab, but the job is selling tickets and superhero deaths mean nothing. Case in point, I don’t for one second buy Feige’s denial considering, as we speak, Deadpool 3 is pissing all over Logan by making Hugh Jackman’s Wolverine swap cock jokes with Ryan Reynolds. All of that said, is there a dump truck full of money big enough to convince RDJ, Evans, or ScarJo to come back? We’re gonna find out. (Vanity Fair)

Elle gets it right with Lily Gladstone’s Women in Hollywood cover. (Lainey Gossip)

Keke Palmer and Darius Jackson are going through mediation, but don’t believe the garbage rumors that she dropped the restraining order. It’s still in place. (Celebitchy)

Kirk Cameron is coming for your children’s book fairs. (Wonkette)

From Tori: Supernatural star Mark Sheppard somehow survived six massive heart attacks. Just this weekend. (Deadline)

Jake Gyllenhaal and director Doug Liman reportedly screened their Road House remake for Jeff Bezos on his yacht in an effort to get a theatrical release. It didn’t work. (A.V. Club)

From Petr: Lovely piece on Iain Banks. (Eurogamer)

Yeah, yeah, yeah, we’re not supposed to comment on women’s looks, but c’mon. You would not have known that’s Christina Aguilera unless the headline told you. I’ve seen a billion pictures of her over the course of my career, and even I don’t believe that’s her. (Page Six)

From Chris: Just when I thought I got this song out of my head, Richard Cheese puts it right back in. (YouTube)

For some icing on the cake, Elon is also burning Tesla to the ground thanks to the cheese grater on wheels known as the Cybertruck. (Rolling Stone)

From Tori: Jiggle Physics: because the Baldur’s Gate 3 genital customization was just too static before. (Kotaku)

Zack Snyder might just make his homoerotic 300 sequel after all. (THR)

Bro, Tom Cruise is going to die trying to jump a motorcycle in space. Be real. (IndieWire)

After reading Horrorstor, Scootchyknees didn’t think she would pick up another Grady Hendrix book, but when Flimflamingo called How to Sell a Haunted House “puppet gore,” she was sold. “One of the best chapters involved a funeral with overly zealous puppeteer attendees.” Which authors are you on the fence about? (Cannonball Read 15)