Michael Caine Really Wants His Last Movie To Be a Honking Turd

We live in a time when the greats are thinking about how to cap off their legacy. Stephen King wants to go out leaving his readers wanting more, while Quentin Tarantino literally bailed on The Movie Critic because he wants his tenth and final film to be absolutely perfect. And then there’s Michael Caine. The actor was retired, but apparently, he couldn’t resist returning to the screen to work with a master of cinema: Christopher Nolan Vin Diesel. The 92-year-old Caine will reportedly reprise his role in the Last Witch Hunter sequel, the 2015 movie you rightly forgot about and had every right to never think of again. (Variety)

Rita Ora and Taika Waititi are working on a Fyre Festival musical. (Lainey Gossip)

Here come the Coldplay Kiss Cam divorces. (Celebitchy)

Don’t f*ck with librarians. (Wonkette)

Kayleigh wrote about the new Leni Riefenstahl documentary and the ways propaganda has evolved. (A.V. Club)

A lot of you owe Sabrina Carpenter an apology. (The Mary Sue)

While Vin Diesel is going back to the Last Witch Hunter well, The Rock is actually losing weight for another collaboration with Benny Safdie. Not how I saw any of this playing out. (Deadline)

From Jen: For those of us old enough to appreciate this: Courtney Cox and Bruce Springsteen had a moment at the US Open this weekend. (Instagram)

After the insanely priced Death Star set, LEGO is winning me back with this surprising bad boy that I probably won’t drop $400 on, but damn, do I wanna. Would it have killed them to toss in a Borg? No one would have missed Wesley. (Kotaku)

Please, Highlander reboot, don’t waste Djimon Hounsou. (Gizmodo)

Happy sapphic September! A bookseller recommended Darcy Liao’s Make Room for Love when Jake asked for a sapphic romance with a trans main character. He enjoyed it. “You can read stories like these to see how people inhabit those identities as flawed, imperfect, loving, wonderful human beings who are just trying to live their lives.” Do you have some sapphic book recommendations? (Cannonball Read 17)

RFK Jr. Warns Mistress That Condoms Cause Autism

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— The Onion (@theonion.com) September 8, 2025 at 11:00 AM