After reportedly besting over a dozen actresses including Florence Pugh and Euphoria star Odessa Young, Ozark’s Julia Garner has emerged the victor in securing the coveted role of Madonna for the Madonna biopic directed by Madonna because, apparently, you’re allowed to do that now. (Variety)

The coverage of Brad Pitt’s latest accusations against Angelina Jolie over Chateau Miraval unsurprisingly favors him à la Johnny Depp. (Lainey Gossip)

Plot twist: Gerard Pique technically couldn’t have cheated on Shakira because they reportedly had an open relationship. Either way, she got tired of him and is going after Captain America and/or Superman. (Dlisted)

Lori B. Harvey wasn’t ready to commit to Michael B. Jordan. (Celebitchy)

Because I haven’t said it in a while: The Last Jedi is a Star Wars.

Haven’t touched this stuff in years, but Bryan lines them up and knocks them down so succinctly and with such a pleasant tone, I figured eh, fuck it. (replies off to spare his timeline) https://t.co/SxrLP8qWOM

— Rian Johnson (@rianjohnson) June 7, 2022

From Roxana: Eat the rich so I can have David Harbour’s loft. (YouTube)

In unfortunate movie news, Joker is officially getting a sequel, complete with a pretentious as all hell title. (Instagram)

And, for a palate cleanser, here’s Tim Burton reminiscing about Batman Returns and telling Warner Bros. to go f*ck themselves. (IndieWire)

From Jen:

The sleeper has awakened and the spice will be flowing on the Dune AMA this Wednesday, June 8th at 3pm PT on Reddit! Super excited to answer your questions. See you there! 🤚🏻⚔️🐛 pic.twitter.com/z65kt3Gr5N

— Kyle MacLachlan (@Kyle_MacLachlan) June 6, 2022

Stranger Things 5 will solve the issue of all the kids looking 30 by going for a tried-and-true time jump. (TVLine)

GameStop employees are walking off the job as the company continues to suck sh*t despite whatever’s going on with the stupid meme stocks. (Kotaku)

Fox News actually liked Matthew McConaughey’s impassioned “gun responsibility” speech at the White House? The Fox News? What is happening?! (Mediaite)

Are you good with money? Sjfromsj is not and looked for help in Gaby Dunn’s Bad With Money: The Imperfect Art of Getting Your Financial Sh*t Together. She felt like she had aged out of a lot of the advice, but "otherwise it was a digestible and entertaining read that didn’t veer too far into ‘burn it all down’ territory (though the final chapter would be the first chapter of the book that encourages us to burn it all down)." (Cannonball Read 14)

From Andrew:

First and last drink footage is hillarious. Why has no one done this before? 🤣🤣🤣 pic.twitter.com/KAZ367uwaS

— Viral Meme Guy (@Viralmemeguy) June 5, 2022

Mike is a Staff Contributor living in Pennsyltucky. You can follow him on Twitter.