JoJo Siwa Really Did Leave Her Girlfriend for a Man (No, Not Mickey Rourke)

As we all know by now, Mickey Rourke was pervy as hell to JoJo Siwa during his brief stint on Celebrity Big Brother, which ultimately resulted in him getting booted from the house. And, listen, I don’t want to say Rourke was right because the weirdo was being blatantly homophobic. That said, Siwa did end up ditching her girlfriend for a male co-star, just not the old gross one. (Page Six)

Jennifer Garner and John Miller have started coordinating outfits so people will stop saying she’s getting back together with Ben Affleck. (Lainey Gossip)

What does Ioan Gruffudd even do now? I’m seriously asking. (Celebitchy)

The Texas legislator wants to go sewer diving for birth control hormones. (Wonkette)

From Nate: I’d have left him the second time. (Gizmodo)

A Minecraft Movie will try and contain the youth by hosting rowdy screenings, which I’m sure will be a blast for the poor workers who have to clean that sh*t up. (Kotaku)

Jenna Ortega will soon be actor/director Jenna Ortega. (IndieWire)

Oh good, the White House Press Secretary is openly talking about arresting Supreme Court justices. Cool, cool cool cool. (Daily Beast)

Somehow, Palpatine sex talk returned. (A.V. Club)

Is Michael Mann directing this new Miami Vice movie? Then keep it. (Variety)

KimMiE” has your reading for the rest of the year planned: Robin Buss’s thrilling translation (with footnotes) of Alexandre Dumas’s 1200-page action adventure novel, The Count of Monte Cristo. “So, yeah-love, deceit, murder, financial ruin … this novel has everything you could want in a 19th century soap opera. For readers who like everything to make sense, I feel like I should acknowledge that not everything that happens is 100% plausible. Shocking, I know.” What is the chonkiest book you’ve read? (Cannonball Read 17)

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