Jessica Chastain's 'The Savant' Is Coming Out Now That Everyone Calmed Down

In the aftermath of a certain event last year — Please don’t make us say his name. — Jessica Chastain’s The Savant was shelved by Apple TV and everyone just assumed it would never see the light of day or be very dated when it’s finally released in 2029. Well, guess again. The series will premiere in Spring 2027 and watch it be a big nothing that would’ve been fine. - (Deadline)

That aforementioned gelatinous orange glob is now claiming that the proposed triumphal arch will double as a military complex with snipers and drones. - (CNN)

This is fine. I’m sure everything’s fine. What could go wrong? I mean, we have the BEST people running the country! U.S. Almost Went to War With China Thanks to AI-Hallucinated Intel - (Intelligencer)

Brad Paisley wrote and sang a satirical song for South Park’s Season 29 premiere. - (Country Updates)

95-year-old William Shatner is rockin out to Heavy Metal now. - (Yahoo)

Remember when Pete Davidson and Colin Jost bought an old Staten Island Ferry a few years ago? They’re turning it into a comedy club. - (AVC)

Kate Beckinsale is posting some Instagram messages that are causing concern. We hope she is doing ok! - (PEOPLE)

As the only child of an 80-year-old man who has been in the hospital for a week, on IV antibiotics because of a cat bite, this article really resonated with me. - (SM)

It’s still 95 degrees here, but Tuesday (blessedly) it will be 75, and on Tuesday, my darlings, my favorite time of year begins: Decorative Gourd Season, EmmerEffers! - (McSweeney’s)

Comedian Carrot Top is awake and breathing on his own, and that’s good news! He’s in our thoughts and we wish him the best! - (PageSix)

Michael Kors designs may be closer to what regular people would wear, but I still don’t like most of them. - (GFY)

Chad Gilbert, New Found Glory guitarist, dies at 45. May he rest in peace. - (Entertainment Weekly)

Vega-table wanted a break from real-world violence against women and picked up a book with a beautiful cover, The Sleeping Sisters by Jennifer Givhan, and discovered it’s based on real-world violence against women. “I was hooked by page 14 of ~400 and have no one to blame but myself, the author, and cover artist Rafael Silveria.” Which book with a beautiful cover are you glad you read? (Cannonball Read 18)

Such good dogs! Special note: Percy is so much smarter than a lot of people I know.