Gwyneth Paltrow's Vagina Candles Were 'Punk Rock,' You Proles

Absolutely nothing about Gwyneth Paltrow is punk rock, and that is doubly the case for Goop, a wellness brand by and for bougie white ladies who want to spend $100 for a single slice of macrobiotic ham. — Have I nailed their whole catalog? I think I nailed their whole catalog. — So hearing Gwyneth defend her infamous vagina candles as a “f*ck you” to society is where I ask if Goop sells anything for bleeding brains because mine is oozing. (Variety)

Michael B. Jordan returns the favor to Tom Cruise in London. (Lainey Gossip)

A multi-state investigation shows Kroger has been routinely overcharging. (Celebitchy)

People think Taylor Swift is a serial killer now? I have no clue. (Wonkette)

From Roxana: What’s the opposite of P-Love? P-Contempt? (Twitter)

SAG-AFTRA is not loving Fortnite’s new AI Vader voice. (The Verge)

For some reason, Jessica Biel is developing a 7th Heaven reboot, which somehow made it past somebody asking, “Hey, whatever happened to the dad in the original?” You’d think that would’ve stopped things right there. (TVLine)

Chris Parnell opens up about getting fired then re-hired by SNL. (A.V. Club)

Aubrey O’Day has a very good question about the Diddy trial. (Page Six)

From Jen: A live Puffin Cam has gotta appeal to someone. (National Trust)

Joe Biden’s granddaughter has some words for Jake Tapper. (Daily Beast)

The new Baldur’s Gate 3 figures are so ugly, people are getting refunds. (Kotaku)

Bernie still sucks sh*t. What a surprise. (Mediaite)

Aliya Whiteley’s darkly fantastical novella, The Beauty, inspired Melina to write her first Cannonball Read review of the year this month. “The story is an interesting one that is well-written, I wish it had been longer…I think there’s so much more here that’s ripe for a story” Which books do you wish had explored their unusual elements more? (Cannonball Read 17)

From Roxana:

Publication: We’re the number one website in our category. Every single person who cares about this subject reads us. We’re making millions in profits

Writer: So… everything is good?

Publication: No, we’re firing everyone and pivoting to BlastBits™. It’s like video but louder

— Alex Blechman (@alexblechman.bsky.social) May 1, 2025 at 12:19 PM