Good afternoon, Mr. Zilla. Thanks so much for taking the time to speak with me.
[Translation: Oh please, do call me Phil.]
Well, Phil, it’s very nice to speak with you today. I saw the film film last night, and gotta say, I really enjoyed it. What inspired you to take the role?
[Well I had just finished a revival of Waiting for Godot on the West End, and I really fancied a change, you know. The stage is my first and only love, but the energy of Hollywood does imbue one with a certain sense of joie de vivre from time to time.]
I’m sorry to bring this up, but… Bryan Cranston talked about tension on-set between the two of you. Can I get your take on that?
[Oh, Bryan, that scoundrel. No, really, it’s just a bit of fun. The two of us get on quite well together! Sally Hawkins, on the other hand… mouth like a sailor. And you do not want to know the sorts of scandalous acts she commits in her trailer. [delicately shudders]].
There’s been some controversy about your recent weight gain. Have anything to say to the detractors?
[To quote the bard, “Away you moldy rogue, away!”]
A lot of Godzilla felt very fresh, but there was one thing that was just so old-fashioned in stuck in my craw: All the female characters were either mothers, wives, or assistants to more prominent male characters. Do you have anything to say about that?
[I’m sorry, pardon?]
I’m just asking whether the film’s gender issues were something that registered with you.
[I’m a prehistoric reptile, I don’t speak English, sincerest apologies.]
Does Ken Watanabe smell like Old Spice and sunshine?
[You have no idea.]
Anything you can tell us about the recently greenlit sequel?
[I’ve been pushing for a sort of Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead-style spinoff, an existential evaulation of what it even means to be a giant prehistoric monster in this day and age. But IDK, I’ll probably just end up crushing more buildings.]
Phil, thank you so much for your time.