It started with a simple question: If you had to pick one holiday song as your favorite, which song would you pick? And then it turned into nonsense.
Petr: Motherfucking Pogues or gtfo.
TK: Anything by Bing Crosby. Pogues most definitely. Waitresses. Dan The Automator’s remix of “Jingle Bells.” Al Green and Annie Lennox’s “Put A Little Love In Your Heart”. Joni Mitchell’s “River”. I could do this all day.
Emily: But what’s your favorite one, TK?
TK: All of them. I fucking love Christmas music. I love ALL Christmas music. I even love that damn Paul McCartney song that everyone hates.
Paul McCartney's "Wonderful Christmastime" is about friends practicing witchcraft but then someone walks in and they have to suddenly play it cool pic.twitter.com/0FscqecVzW— Ryan George (@theryangeorge) December 11, 2019
Emily: But the premise is that you have to pick one. Kill your darlings.
Ursula: “Christmas is Here” by Kaskade is mine. #electronica4lyfe
TK: That’s a great fuckin pick, Urs. That whole album is gorgeous, actually. In terms of full albums, that and Low’s Christmas album are two faves.
Ursula: As an Eastern European, I was born with certain ingrained elements in my DNA: I love potatoes. I have a large collection of Adidas tracksuits and sneakers. (I do not, however, own gold chains. I follow the stereotype right up to the line of tackiness.) And I am devoted to electronic music. So, of course, my favorite holiday song is going to bop. Now, before I start my tiresome EDM Is Not True Electronica screed, let me say that EDM is fine, lovely even!, and this particular EDM song is chill enough for your grandma to enjoy. It’s not true electronica, but until John Digweed releases a holiday mix, this will do. Happy Holidays, comrades!
Emily: Ok, but for real though.
TK: I love the U2 version too, but yeah, there’s no beating the OG for that song.
Emily: The U2 version is one of three Christmas songs I’ll listen to. The others being the OG version and “Every Day Will Be Like A Holiday.”
TK: So clearly we’re not quite on the same page about Christmas music. OH! Also, Springsteen’s Santa Claus Is Coming To Town absolutely kicks. … really, anything by Springsteen.
Genevieve: For Christmas songs I usually say this to be an asshole.
But honestly, it’s probably this. That whole Joan Baez album is great, my mom played it a lot when I was a kid so I’m probably a little biased but it’s just a very pretty, relaxing Christmas album.
Dustin: Fuck y’all, it’s “holiday” songs, and “Latke Clan” by the Leevees.
Kayleigh: John Waters’s Christmas album or bust!
Roxana: In our house, Christmas music is Bad Religion.
Tori: Every year I rail against the world for sleeping on Ariana Grande’s “Christmas & Chill” EP. Also the entire Sharon Jones album honestly.
And did Huey Lewis do a weird barbershop quartet version of “Winter Wonderland”? Yes. Yes, he did.
Jodi: My fav.
I also enjoy my screaming FRANKENSTEIN instead of Jingle Bells as a song, but I don’t think it can go on the list.
Seth: The only thing I have to add to this is Run DMC’s “Christmas in Hollis.” You’re welcome.
Hannah: Also love all Christmas tunes. Even the ones that have nothing to do with Christmas but were just released in the winter and feature music videos full of snow and Big Coats, and somehow also make a fortune every year. (That’s some side-eye to East 17 right there). 1st choice is prob Mariah. 2nd is Rocking Around the Christmas Tree. If East 17’s “festive” offering never made it across the Atlantic: behold: a 90s boyband ballad, but Christmassed up with snow, Big Coats, and some tubular bells.
TK: There is only one Christmas song that I truly, truly hate. And I hate it with the fire of a thousand supernovas. With the heat of Hades. With the fury of a volcano.
TK: Fucking nailed it, Emily.
Emily: I might not know Christmas music, but I fucking know hate.
ETA: DAMNIT. I forgot to add the most surprisingly touching holiday song of the list. From Lord Castleton, the literal best among us.