The U.S. Economy Is Being Led Over a Cliff by an Idiot and His Lemmings

I hope everyone enjoyed their brief respite from the horrors of the current administration after a rare good day — well, half a day — because by 4 p.m. yesterday, the President delivered a rambling, nonsensical, and infuriating speech announcing a boatload of new tariffs that many are calling “worse than the worst-case scenario.”

Trump imposed a 10 percent tariff across the board, excluding Mexico and Canada, which already face their own 25 percent tariffs. Countries he labeled “bad actors” are getting hit with cumulative tariffs as high as 60 percent. The EU is facing a 20 percent tariff. The UK — with whom we have a trade surplus — is still being slapped with a 10 percent tariff.

The formula Trump used, which the internet reverse-engineered as completely batsh**, is erratic at best.

If the tariffs hold (and with Trump, who knows?), the country is effectively looking at a $600 billion annual tax. Grocery prices are going to rise. Electronics, sneakers, and clothing will get more expensive. Inflation will surge, and the stock market will sink. Early indicators suggest as much as a 5 percent drop in the NASDAQ when the bell rings this morning — unsurprising, given that the tech industry sources many of its parts from countries hit hardest by tariffs (China, Vietnam, India, Taiwan).

The price of a new Subaru Crosstrek, I read, will rise by around $10,000. The new Nintendo Switch could jump by as much as $120, with new games rising by $30. Consumers will delay buying cars, computers, and washing machines, which will hurt retailers like Amazon, Target, and Walmart — leading to layoffs and a higher unemployment rate. We’ve seen this cycle before: companies slash advertising and marketing budgets, hurting giants like Google and Facebook and, by extension, the rest of the media.

And the thing is, it’s all so f**king pointless. Ostensibly, the goal is to increase U.S. manufacturing, but we’re a service-based economy — and those services will be hit with retaliatory tariffs, triggering even more economic pain. The idea that companies like Nike or Apple will move their manufacturing to the U.S. ignores the reality: higher wages mean higher prices, which leads to more inflation. And even if companies wanted to come back, the U.S. isn’t equipped to restart large-scale manufacturing. It would take years — only to see the next administration (or Trump himself) reverse course again.

The President of the United States doesn’t understand how the economy works, and the Republican Congress is too chickensh** to take back the tariff powers they do legally possess. Yesterday, the Senate — with help from a few Republican Senators (McConnell, Rand, Collins, and Murkowski) — passed legislation reversing the Canadian tariffs, but it’s expected to die in the House, despite the warning sign from the Florida special election about how vulnerable swing-state Republicans may be.

Trump needs to be neutered. Congress has the power to do it. Instead, they’re pushing ahead with a plan to renew and expand the Trump tax cuts — to appease the billionaires currently taking a bath in the stock market. But even they may not see much of a net gain. For the rest of us: we get nothing but a faltering economy and shrinking 401Ks as the market continues its tumble.

It’s bad. It’s real bad. There are no winners here. And the best we can hope for is that Trump panics at the market plunge and negotiates carve-outs or exceptions. But it may be too late. Hell, the rest of the world hates us now, too — because we’re tanking their economies right along with ours.

We’re being led over a cliff by an idiot and his lemmings. But hey! At least the White House may push out Elon Musk in the coming weeks.