That Viral Robert Redford Quote Is a Gift That Keeps on Giving

OKCupid was the best (and maybe only?) free dating app available when I met my wife. It was terrible. Perhaps that wasn’t the case for some people. Statistically, at least one couple had to have been formed as a result of the app, which then went on to get married. I never got close to that. There was some messaging, some comic book talk, and zero meetups while I used that dating app.

But let’s not act like I was doing any better in the real world. I have often been referred to by women, unprompted, as non-threatening. It still happens! It happened at a ten-year-old’s birthday party I attended with my kids last month. It’s nice, don’t get me wrong, and has taken on a mostly new meaning, but back in the day, it was a clear indicator that I had been placed in the friend zone (which is a perfectly comfortable place).

In life or online, I was someone who could rarely get women to go on a date with me. The last time I succeeded ended up being the best thing to ever happen to me, but there was a lot of rejection along the way. There were plenty of times when I, let’s say, struck out. Thank Zod that there weren’t more dating apps when I was single, because they would have welcomed a host of additional rebuffs.

Why am I admitting all of this to you? Why am I discussing my romantic failures? Yesterday, Robert Redford passed away at the age of 89. The man ruled. He was a legend on the big screen, but also an activist who cared deeply about the world at large and the creative one in which he was a part. So much has been said about Redford since his passing, all of it great, but one quote stuck out in particular.

Back in 2008, when I was still a predominantly dateless wonder, Sam Kashner interviewed a host of people about the making of The Graduate for Vanity Fair. At one point, Kashner quotes director Mike Nichols, who, at a 2003 screening of the film, told the crowd about almost casting Robert Redford.

“I interviewed hundreds, maybe thousands, of men,” Nichols explained. “I said, ‘You can’t play it. You can never play a loser.’ And Redford said, ‘What do you mean? Of course I can play a loser.’ And I said, ‘O.K., have you ever struck out with a girl?’ and he said, ‘What do you mean?’ And he wasn’t joking.” Boom! The man didn’t even understand the concept. But can ya blame him? This is what he looked like in 1967 when the movie was released.

That ain’t no loser! There is plenty to celebrate about Robert Redford’s life, but I saw that quote constantly yesterday and into this morning. I get it. It’s cool as hell. It would sound insufferable coming out of Warren Beatty. Out of Robert Redford, it makes naivety sound charming. Rest in peace, you beautiful man.