Old School. Biblically Independent.
By Andrew Sanford | News | June 25, 2026
There was a made-for-TV movie about the Monkees that came out in the late 90s. Despite being maybe ten years old at the time, I was the target audience. I watched it several times the weekend it debuted, thrilled that VH1 was also showing reruns of the old show, ya know, like any ten-year-old was at the time. I haven’t watched it in a bit, but I remember it beginning with the present-day executives deciding to create a band via a TV show, thinking they were original for having the idea. Then, we’re told the story of the Monkees. I feel like a similar moment may have happened at Paramount.
The Hollywood Reporter is, well, reporting that a live stage show featuring the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles will go on tour next year to celebrate the 40th anniversary of the original cartoon series. The show will feature parkour, hip hop, and martial arts, with a 90-minute runtime. The show is being shepherded by some incredibly talented folks, like Emmy-winning playwright Qui Nguyen, Jennifer Weber, a director and choreographer who has twice been nominated for a Tony, and Tony-winning Producer Eva Price.
This venture honestly sounds like a pretty good idea. As soon as I saw it, I knew that I would likely be in attendance next year, as my kids will be six by then - A pretty perfect age for something like this. This thing could be pretty memorable for the right reasons… But is that really what the people want? Do they need well-crafted entertainment that will check a lot of boxes for families and hopefully have something for the parents as well? Or does society deserve something that feels, let’s say, absolutely bonkers?
I know some of you read this headline and thought the exact same thing I did: “Um, there already is a TMNT stage show, and it is perfect in its awfullness.” 36 years ago, the Turtles went out of their shells and on tour. The stage show featured performers in shell-less costumes, and doing what they do best: making music. And boy oh boy is that music… very 1990. I’ll post it below, but Splinter has a song that will… make your jaw drop. I can’t imagine why Paramount didn’t want to bring it up!
If anything, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Coming out of Their Shells Tour could become the new Star Wars Holiday Special. You can watch the whole thing on YouTube, because to request its removal would mean acknowledging its existence. But you just know that little David Ellison watched it on VHS when he was little, smiling from wall to wall, hoping to one day make it his own. Don’t skimp out, David! Give them guitars! Let Shredder insult the audience! Give April a hair due that will catch fire if it comes within five feet of an open flame! Don’t be a coward!!
