Marc Maron Shades Comedians Attending the Riyadh Comedy Festival

In June, journalist Turki bin Abdulaziz al-Jasser was executed in Saudi Arabia after seven years of detention and torture for … anonymous tweets critical of the Saudi royal family. I don’t mention this as a warning about where the United States is headed (god forbid), but to remind folks that the Saudi royal family is … not great. Crown Prince Mohammad Bin Salman, of course, also ordered The Washington Post journalist Jamal Khashoggi’s assassination, but don’t let rampant human rights abuses stop several of America’s biggest comedians from taking gigantic paychecks to help whitewash the country’s reputation by appearing at the two-week Riyadh Comedy Festival beginning this weekend.

Among those names? Kevin Hart, Dave Chappelle, Jeff Ross, Bobby Lee, Chris Tucker, Tom Segura, and Bill Burr, plus a number of comedians for whom I previously had more respect, like Jessica Kirson, Hannibal Buress, Aziz Ansari, Pete Davidson, and Whitney Cummings. Those checks must be huge, too, because a guy named Tim Dillon — whom I had never heard of — was dropped from the festival for making jokes about Saudi Arabia’s use of forced labor. He was reportedly being paid $375,000.

One guy not invited? Marc Maron. Would he have accepted an enormous paycheck had he been invited? Here’s what he had to say about it on stage:

“Well, there’s a Riyadh Comedy Festival if you heard about that. This is true. There’s a Riyadh Saudi Arabia Comedy Festival. I mean, how do you even promote that? You know, like from the folks who brought you 9/11. Two weeks of laughing in the desert! Don’t miss it!

I mean, the same guy that’s gonna pay them is the same guy that paid that guy to bonesaw Jamal Khashoggi and put him in a f**king suitcase. But don’t let that stop the yucks! A good time!

Full disclosure: I was not asked to perform at the Riyadh Comedy Festival. So it’s kind of easy for me to take the high road. Easy to maintain your integrity when no one’s offering to buy it out, you know?”

In a sea of Kevin Harts and Bill Burrs, be the Maron.