Disney Takes Full Ownership of Hulu From the Aliens Who Gave It to Us

It’s weird to feel nostalgic about corporate stuff, but it happens. I moved to New York City in 2007, long after Rudy Giuliani and Disney had kicked most of the sex shops out of Times Square (thank you?). The things I had to cling to were older corporate remnants that, even in 2007, felt past their time. For instance, I loved going to the Times Square Toys R’ Us. That Toys R’ Us was special. It had a Ferris Wheel, a huge T-Rex, and a model of Superman catching a truck that was hanging from the roof. You could play video games in the basement, and there were often employees testing out toys and other doo-dads. For someone fresh out of school and making little money, it was perfect.

I could go in there on my break without spending any money and still feel like I was doing something. I had free access to entertainment, even if it was limited. Yes, I was being advertised to anytime I walked in, and one time, it worked; I bought a Nintendo DS at a time when it wasn’t… financially responsible to do so. But the place was a big, shiny solace. It closed in 2015 and was replaced by a GAP. You can’t have any fun in there, and certainly can’t do anything for free (except try stuff on, I guess). It felt like the end of an era, much like Disney’s complete purchase of Hulu.

Hulu was also important to me as a young fella with no dollars. I had a computer and an email address, so I was able to watch Hulu for free. Like, legitimately free. There were commercials for some of the new shows, but you could watch whole movies for nothing. They had weird s***, too. That’s how I saw Lost Highway and Night of the Demons for the first time. I didn’t have cable, but I could still keep up with my favorite yellow, four-fingered family. While it would start implementing paid tiers in 2010, the joint venture between News Corporation and NBC/Universal was a saving grace for young me (did I mention I was broke?), who saw Alec Baldwin pretending to be an alien who was giving TV away for free.

Fun sidenote: if you watch that video, YouTube will recommend others which suggest it was the Illuminati admitting its schemes in full view. Fun!

Hulu lost its uniqueness long ago, but Disney’s acquisition of 20th Century FOX (News Corporation) set it on a speed run toward conformity. It feels like every other app now, and soon, it likely won’t exist at all. Disney has purchased NBCUniversal’s remaining stake in the company for $438.7 million. The company has already been integrating Hulu into Disney+, and it seems like only a matter of time before Hulu ceases to exist. While Disney+ is more entertaining than a GAP, I can’t help but get a similar feeling as when my favorite toy store was closed.

Nostalgia notwithstanding, this all feels unfortunately routine. More and more entertainment companies are being folded together, and, even if it doesn’t always work, it’s a harrowing look at what’s to come. What happens when Disney purchases every app? What aliens will look out for our mushy brains that crave free s*** (that ad really worked on me)? Where are the corporations I like (he screamed, knowing they never liked him back)? Yes, Tubi exists, but their movies have commercials. Take me back to 2009. I was happier there (and broke. Very broke.).