Danny McBride's 'G.I. Joe' Movie Just Got An Enormous Update

Many of the big cartoons of the 80s passed me by, albeit just barely. I watched The Real Ghostbusters quite a bit, and would honestly be open to anything that came on my screen, but things like Masters of the Universe, Transformers, and G.I. Joe did not even register with me. I had plenty of friends my age who liked them, and I’d eventually dip my toes into the Transformers pool with Beast Wars, but the other two franchises have remained relatively untouched.

The closest I’ve come to a G.I. Joe experience is seeing the live-action film starring Channing Tatum and Marlon Wayans on a small computer in a cramped apartment. I had no love for the IP, and yet even I knew how far that film seemed to stray from the tone and style of the series it was based on. It’s something that used to happen a lot more often, and sometimes, that would lead to really fun adaptations of properties. Other times, it would leave fanbases pretty pissed off.

That certainly seemed to be the case with Joe fans, as the sequel aimed to make something closer to what the property usually was. It worked well enough to earn Dwayne Johnson his “franchise Viagra” nickname, but not enough to keep the series going in any meaningful way. A spinoff about Snake Eyes came out eight years later, but you’ll be forgiven if you don’t remember that, as it dropped right when everyone was getting sick of making sourdough bread.

However, G.I. Joe fans may have reason to rejoice, as Danny McBride has been charged with writing a new movie in the series, and he seems pretty psyched about it. He’s talked about it on Conan’s podcast, revealing that it’s set in a town from the comics that seems normal, but has been taken over by COBRA. He’s also made it clear that it’s not a comedy, but I’m sure something like Halloween’s discussion of banh mi sandwiches will find its way in, especially with the latest update.

Not only will McBride pen the project, but he will direct it as well, according to THR. This will be McBride’s feature directorial debut, but he has directed episodes of Vice Principals and The Righteous Gemstones. One of the most exciting possibilities of this entire endeavor is that cast members from those shows could see their way into the film, as McBride has definitely brought people he likes to work with onto other projects.

In short, I want Walton Goggins in this movie. I don’t know the property well enough to fan cast, but I dunno, just let him do anything. Hell, would Cobra Commander work? Destro? I don’t care, just gimme Goggins.