Bill Maher Can’t Handle Stand-up Comedy Anymore

Stand-up comedy is inherently frightening. You’re getting onstage alone with a microphone, with all eyes on you, and all you have is your act, and your act might not work everywhere. That isn’t necessarily the goal for every comic, but, ideally, if you want to work a lot, you have to be able to work a lot. You need to have the skills and chops to crush just as hard in Manhattan as you would in Duluth.

I won’t act like things aren’t a bit polarizing in this ole country of ours. Plenty of stand-up comedy clips that feature a right-wing heckler have made their way online. People have thrown beer cans. But those are more outliers. There are plenty of shows where folks are just going to be entertained, and, if they’re going to see a comic they already know, they’re likely primed for laughter. So, I call BS on Bill Maher’s excuse for not doing comedy specials anymore.

The, I guess, former comedian recently recorded an episode of his podcast, Club Random, with Patton Oswalt. During the chat, Maher revealed why he isn’t doing stand-up comedy anymore. “I feel like it was a great choice because I don’t want to be out there in this country in this political atmosphere. I could get shot by the left or the right,” he explained. “It’s a good time to not be out there.” Sure, Bill!

First and foremost, saying he could get shot by the right or the left is yet another chapter in Maher’s both-sides nonsense that he has turned into a career. He refers to himself as an “old-school liberal,” which is basically his way of saying “I refuse to change with the times.” The man is basically a Republican who’s cool with weed being legal.

But, being afraid that no one will like his act (and, let’s face it, that’s really what this is) is a pretty lame excuse to not do it. I’ve seen plenty of comedians get on stage, bomb, and then blame the audience for being “too sensitive” or some such nonsense when in reality they just didn’t have any jokes. This is Maher doing that ahead of time. This is his “you can’t fire me, I quit.”

Bill Maher couldn’t stop there, though. He also laments the idea that, in his mind, he’s not selling as many tickets as people he thinks aren’t as funny as he is. The dude manages to load three excuses into one statement at one point, saying, “And not that I didn’t sell a lot of tickets and do great theaters, but I didn’t sell arenas, and some people did who frankly are not that great. But, you know, when the audience is 35 to 45, they don’t want to see somebody 70. I want to see my generation, and it’s OK. I still have my show. I have this. I didn’t need it. I miss it, but that’s part of what it is.”

So, there ya go. Bill Maher has his podcast and his HBO show, and so he doesn’t need stand-up. But also, if he did do it, no one would come to see him, because he’s too old. But also, because people watch his show and don’t need to see him live (dumb). Additionally, if they did see him, they may be so offended that they attempt to do him harm. Got all that?