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In Honor of National One Hit Wonder Day, Here Are VH1's 100 Greatest One Hit Wonders Of The 80s

By TK Burton | Music | September 23, 2016 |

By TK Burton | Music | September 23, 2016 |

Ugh, the 80s. I swear, there are less than 10 pop songs from that decade that I actually like. There’s plenty of other stuff - some good metal, rap, New Wave - that I enjoy. But out of the vast selection of sucktarded radio-friendly pop tunes that came out of the 80s, there’s just so. much. CRAP. And not the fun kind, either.

That came out weird.

Anyway. VH1, because they have an astonishing amount of time on their hands, released yet another list, which you will no doubt find endlessly amusing. They’ve produced “The 100 Greatest One Hit Wonders Of The 80’s”, and I must give them kudos — there is NO decade that could possibly have produced as many one-hit wonders as the 80s — hell, I’m pretty sure the term was spawned out of the 80s, It was a remarkable time, back when things like cassingles existed and when MTV played videos. A time of innocence, if you will. Innocence, cassingles, music videos and astonishing amounts of cocaine abuse. Ah, good times, the 80s.

Regardless, here’s the list. A great deal of nostalgia to be found here — my mom was always a sucker for “Lady in Red.” If I were to make up a list of the top 100 dumbfuck band names, “Kajagoogoo ” would be in the top ten or fifteen. And there’s certainly a couple I’d take issue with — The Waitresses also had the awesome “Christmas Wrapping” which still makes my Yuletide song rotation. Twisted Sister also had “I Wanna Rock” (I didn’t say all the other tracks were good ones). And putting Devo and Midnight Oil here is just plain wrong.

But then, that’s why the internet exists — to pick apart the hard work of others.

So have at it, you jackals. Here’s the list, in its entirety:

Rank Artist / song
01 Dexy’s Midnight Runners “Come on Eileen”
02 Flock of Seagulls “I Ran (So Far Away)”
03 A-Ha “Take On Me”
04 Tommy Tutone “867-5309 / Jenny”
05 Soft Cell “Tainted Love”
06 Toni Basil “Mickey”
07 Modern English “I Melt With You”
08 Bow Wow Wow “I Want Candy”
09 Kajagoogoo “Too Shy”
10 Frankie Goes to Hollywood “Relax”
11 Gary Numan “Cars”
12 Animotion “Obsesssion”
13 Thomas Dolby “She Blinded Me With Science”
14 Big Country “In A Big Country”
15 Devo “Whip It”
16 Nena “99 Luft Balloons”
17 Men Without Hats “The Safety Dance”
18 Rob Base & DJ E-Z Rock “It Takes Two”
19 Dead or Alive “You Spin Me Round (Like a Record)”
20 Rockwell “Somebody’s Watching Me
21 Twisted Sister “We’re Not Gonna Take It”
22 Michael Sembello “Maniac”
23 Eddy Grant “Electric Avenue”
24 Edie Brickell & New Bohemians “What I Am”
25 Musical Youth “Pass the Dutchie”
26 Cutting Crew “I Just Died In Your Arms”
27 Stacey Q “Two of Hearts”
28 John Parr “St. Elmos Fire (Man In Motion)”
29 Madness “Our House”
30 The Vapors “Turning Japanese”
31 Bobby McFerrin “Don’t Worry Be Happy”
32 Quarterflash “Harden My Heart”
33 John Waite “Missing You”
34 The Waitresses “I Know What Boys Like”
35 Tom Tom Club “Genius of Love”
36 Weather Girls “It’s Raining Men”
37 Lipps, Inc. “Funkytown”
38 Bruce Willis “Respect Yourself”
39 Matthew Wilder “Break My Stride”
40 The Buggles “Video Killed the Radio Star”
41 Billy Vera “At This Moment”
42 Timbuk 3 / “The Future’s So Bright, I Gotta Wear Shades”
43 Shannon “Let the Music Play”
44 Wall of Voodoo “Mexican Radio”
45 Robbie Nevil “C’est La Vie”
46 Georgia Satellites “Keep Your Hands To Yourself”
47 Pretty Poison “Catch Me I’m Falling”
48 Yello “Oh Yeah”
49 Philip Bailey (w/ Phil Collins) “Easy Lover”
50 Neneh Cherry “Buffalo Stance”
51 After the Fire “Der Kommissar”
52 Mary Jane Girls “In My House”
53 Taco “Puttin’ On the Ritz”
54 Chris DeBurgh “Lady in Red”
55 Johnny Kemp “Just Got Paid”
56 Til Tuesday “Voices Carry”
57 Jermaine Stewart “We Don’t Have to Take Our Clothes Off”
58 Don Johnson “Heartbeat”
59 The Outfield “Your Love”
60 Nu Shooz “I Can’t Wait”
61 E.U. “Da Butt”
62 XTC “Dear God”
63 Oran “Juice” Jones “The Rain”
64 Robbie Dupree “Steal Away”
65 Boomtown Rats “I Don’t Like Mondays”
66 The Jeff Healy Band “Angel Eyes”
67 Martika “Toy Soldiers”
68 Peter Schilling “Major Tom”
69 T’Pau “Heart And Soul”
70 Harold Faltermeyer “Axel F”
71 Jack Wagner “All I Need”
72 Swing Out Sister “Breakout”
73 Paul Hardcastle “19”
74 Information Society / “What’s On Your Mind (Pure Engery)”
75 Bertie Higgins “Key Largo”
76 J.J. Fad “Supersonic”
77 General Public “Tenderness”
78 Aldo Nova “Fantasy”
79 Alannah Myles “Black Velvet”
80 Eddie Murphy “Party All The Time”
81 Josie Cotton “Johnny Are You Queer?”
82 Red Rider “Lunatic Fringe”
83 Paul Lekakis “Boom Boom Boom Let’s Go Back to My Room”
84 The Church “Under The Milky Way”
85 Ziggy Marley And The Melody Makers “Tomorrow People”
86 Patrice Rushen “Forget Me Nots”
87 Vixen “Edge Of A Broken Heart”
88 Nik Kershaw “Wouldn’t it Be Good”
89 Rodney Dangerfield “Rappin’ Rodney”
90 Haircut 100 “Love Plus One”
91 Gloria Loring & Carl Anderson “Friends And Lovers”
92 Frank Stallone “Far From Over”
93 L.A. Guns “The Ballad of Jayne”
94 Club Nouveau “Lean On Me”
95 Midnight Oil “Beds are Burning”
96 The Fabulous Thunderbirds “Tuff Enuff”
97 Will To Power “Baby I Love Your Way / Freebird”
98 Buckner & Garcia “Pac-Man Fever”
99 Michael Damian “Rock On”
100 Clarence Clemons (and Jackson Browne) “You’re A Friend Of Mine”

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TK Burton is the Editorial Director. You may email him here or follow him on Twitter.