1. The Bill Harper Kill Yourself Speech — The dark side of Elliot came came so far to the surface he nearly blotted out the sun in a speech he delivered to a poor schlub to drive him away, reducing the sod to tears.
“Think about Bill. If you died, would anyone care? Would they really care? Maybe they’d cry for a day, but let’s be honest. No one would give a shit. They wouldn’t. The few people who would feel obligated to go to your funeral would probably feel annoyed and leave as soon as possible. That’s who you are. That’s what you are. You’re nothing to anyone. To everyone. Think about it, Bill, cause if you do, if you let yourself. You know I’m telling you the truth, so instead of wasting anymore of my time, I need you to go call someone that matters. Because Bill, you don’t.”
What the fuck? Have you ever felt worse for a nobody character on a television show in all of your life? I wanted the guy to kill himself just to put himself out of his own goddamn misery. Bill needs a hug, and I need a shower.
2. The Cruel Text — How do you get rid of someone who leads a great life, has no skeletons in her closet, and loves her husband? You hack in and send her this text.
They do not fuck around on this show.
3. Tyrell’s scathing assessment of his waiter.
“I’ve seen our waiter here for the last seven years. Must be in his 50s. Maybe has kids … I wonder, what must he think of himself. His life’s potential reached a 30 grand a year salary, an economy car he still owes money on, two bedroom apartment, child support, coupons. I couldn’t bear it. A life like that. A life of an ordinary cockroach whose biggest value is to serve me salad.”
Meanwhile, former drug dealer Shayla has actually found happiness in starting a life that would lead to same place as Tyler’s waiter someday, if not for the fact that she is so dead. She is going to be so killed, y’all, and it’s going to be heartbreaking.
5. The Dinner Party
“Sharon,” Tyrell says to host of a dinner party. “How do you not blow your brains out being married to him?”
Is that any way to treat your host?
I don’t know, but it seemed to work for him, because when Sharon excused herself to the bathroom to get away from the mentally deranged monster, Tyrell followed her in. Did she scream? Or tell him to get the hell out?
Nope. After an intense 30-second stare down between Sharon and Tyrell, she showed him her vagina.
“Thank you for a lovely evening,” he says, before politely leaving the restroom like a FUCKING PSYCHOPATH.
6. They’re Interacting with Mr. Robot Now?
After five episodes in which no one seemed to interact with Mr. Robot, and it seemed as though he was a Fight Club-like split personality, everyone in the room finally began talking to Mr. Robot.
At first blush, it seemed like Mr. Robot may actually be real, except for the fact that Elliot faded into the background. So, Mr. Robot/Elliot are the same person? Or is creator Sam Esmail trolling the hell out of us?
I’ve given up trying to figure out this show. I’m just going to sit back and enjoy the ride.
7. The Medical Bills — It’s not immediately clear what the implication is of all those unpaid medical/insurance bills that Angela Moss’ father has owing to the death of her mother. My guess is that it will turn her against Evil Corp. Hard.