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A Turd in a Bucket is not Logical

By Seth Freilich | Miscellaneous | May 1, 2009 |

By Seth Freilich | Miscellaneous | May 1, 2009 |

Spock is all about logic. And if he were still chilling out in his coffin, orbiting the Genesis Planet, he’d be rolling in that coffin. Because JJ Abrams’ Star Trek is many things, but it’s not logical. It actually reminds me quite a bit of Abrams’ “Alias” — it starts off strong as hell (albeit, without a hot chick running around in skimpy clothes doing cool spy shit), but winds up becoming so buried in its own mythology that the ensuing pretzel makes you thirsty, but it don’t make no sense. I know William Shatner was pissed about not getting a chance to be in this flick, but he should count his lucky stars.

…Actually, I have no idea whether the flick’s any good. I haven’t seen it, yet. Dan’s the man reviewing it for the site, and that review will be up just a little later today. But I figured that by mid-day, the bigger asshole commenters would be littering up the comment sections of other posts with all the “this is good and all but where the fuck’s the Star Trek review, asshole” crap. It’s coming, nerdlinger, it’s coming. Keep your Spock ears on.

In the meantime, here’s an episode of the Retarded Policeman to hold you over:

The 10 Most Anticipated Anti-Blockbuster Movies of the Summer | Pajiba Love 05/01/09

Seth is a Senior Editor and sometime critic. You may email him here or follow him on Twitter.