If I ever get a word added to Webster’s and it isn’t bottomings (onions, ketchup, mustard, relish, etc added to a burger, but put under the patty in order to reduce messiness), I really hope it’s LaBeouf-ed. It’s the state where one feels an uneasy combination of Schadenfreude, pity, and general ickiness.
After his arrest this weekend, LaBeouf has entered a rehab facility in Hollywood. That arrest is, by my count, his third all stemming from his general intoxication. On the one hand, I hate celebrities’ use of rehab as a “Get Out of Being a Horrible Person Free” card. On the on the other hand, the dude clearly has issues.
If Shia is reading this, and I can only assume he is, allow me to offer this advice: do not make a comeback. Go to rehab, finish the program, move to the middle of Montana, and stay there until the Transformer’s money runs out. In addition to having to learn how to spell your last name, I’ve developed the tiniest bit of sympathy for you. Don’t Lindsay this.