The Cold Open: EXT. MIDTOWN — EVENING. A well-dressed but clearly out-of-towner couple in their sixties are staring skywards, admiring the city’s incredible architecture when out of nowhere, a twenty-something man emerges from the tourists’ blindspot and grabs the woman’s $450 Tory Burch purse. He dashes off, disappearing swiftly into crowded foot traffic as she screams helpless, “NO! MY HAMILTON TICKETS ARE IN THERE!”
Just the other day, I was thinking how if Law & Order were still on the air, they’d surely touch on the intense love of New York City’s newest and boldest Broadway hit with a very special episode. Hell, maybe its creator and star Lin-Manuel Miranda would cameo. Remarkably, he’s one of the few New York-based actors alive who’s never appeared on the long-running staple.
Never have I been so sad for the show’s cancellation as when I heard this story of a Tennessee tourist whose Hamilton tickets were stolen in an impromptu purse snatching. (I will never be satisfied.) Of course, to amp up the stakes demanded for late night drama, the snatching would be purely plotted for those coveted tickets, and maybe one of the victims would be gravely wounded so that heavy looks could be exchanged as we’re forced to consider fandemonium gone mad.
Thankfully, IRL - no one was hurt, and the purse snatcher was quickly cornered by police, with some help from the Find My iPhone app. (How lucky we are to be alive right now!) The Tennessee tourist accompanied the cops to the Apple Store on Fifth Avenue, where she identified the thief, and he was captured. Regrettably, it’s unknown if the couple got those golden tickets back before showtime.
Can you imagine?
Kristy Puchko lives in
perpetual fear that she’ll never win Hamilton’s digital ticket lottery New York City.