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The Weekly Caption Contest

By Michael Murray and Replica | Miscellaneous | September 28, 2012 |

By Michael Murray and Replica | Miscellaneous | September 28, 2012 |

Once again, genius sprang forth from the voices that are Pajiba. You folks are a rainbow of brilliance and glitter and knives. It’s a true fact.

For those that need a reminder, this is the image from last week:


This week I have narrowed it down to a top five and they are as follows:

5. Sara_Tonin00

Holy hells do I love the weekly caption contest.

(mswas was robbed)

Sarah, you have captured something vital and true here, the weekly caption contest is as awesome as a cheeseburger. It’s like the Niagara Falls of the Internet. You are brilliant to have seen this and to have the courage to articulate it. You are a hero to me. And yes, you’re right, mswas was robbed. The Gods of the Pajiba Caption Contest (Replica and me) are capricious Gods and we mete out a justice that is impenetrable and unpredictable. You get fifth place.

4. Lb

I want to frame this picture and put it in my office. And, when I’m having a rough day, I want to look at it and marvel for just a minute. In that minute, I will appreciate the tube sock/hiking boot take on Santa’s boots, the Christmas appropriate cross necklace selection, the subtlety Christmas pumps. I will let the picture take me back to the best reality tv show of all time, “I Pity the Fool.”. And then, because no moment of joy is complete without a little sadness, I will yearn for my own Gentle Giant (tm).

Lb, I want to know what you do in your office. I bet it’s something pretty fantastic, or at least something that would be pretty fantastic if it weren’t for your prick-face boss. I hate the prick-face boss. The prick-face bosses should be pushed over Niagara Falls by rabid, swollen rats that swim. I need to say that I love your precise fashion deconstruction of Mr.T. You have the eye of an artist, are brilliant to recall the brief, shining star that was the great reality show, “I Pity the Fool,” and for your touching wisdom in seeing that in all joy there is a little sadness. And so for you, I give you a picture of a sexy interpretation of something old and Greek.


3. L.O.V.E.

“4:00, Lincoln Bedroom. Ronald should be asleep by 3:30. Bring your ‘A-Team’.”

L.O.V.E is always awesome, a master at this craft and each week I look forward to his creative, hilarious and entirely super submissions. As a reward I bestow upon you a photo of Ronald Regan and Marilyn Monroe, the relationship of which was the true root cause of the Nancy Regan/Mister T sex tape. L.O.V.E. please note the creepy faces in the background of the photo and tell me what they might mean. And a millions props and gang signs for the images you provided, which as always, were excellent.


2. EricD

Mr. T finds out what Reagan really meant by the ‘trickle down’ effect.

This one made me laugh so hard I spit out two of the peanuts I was eating. Well done, EricD, well, goddamn done!

1. Bert_the_Pajibian

“Twas the night before Christmas, in the house that be White,
First Lady taking pictures with Santa in tights.
He’s a little surreal, he’s more than a man,
He delivers kids presents from a badass black van.
In stockings of tube, giving gifts of himself,
This Claus don’t need help from no fool little elf!
His visit was brief, there are children to see,
And no pity he’ll have for a tardy St. T!
‘On Face! On Murdock!, On Hannibal!’ he cried,
‘We got places to be, and this sucker don’t fly!’
And he said as he left, in his gold and his silk,
‘Merry Christmas to all, and thanks for the milk!’”

Bert was the first one of the gate with this submission and nobody else came close. Look at it! It should be hung in a goddamn gallery. It rhymes, for God’s sake, it rhymes!! Bert, you get to carry the flag when Pajiba Nation takes over, I’m sorry, I mean participates in the Olympics.

And so this week the winner is Bert the Pajibian, but as the Replica and I are capricious and irresponsible God’s, we are going to award the prize to both Bert and mswas, who we robbed last week out of spite and bitterness. Because Dustin has exhausted his copies of Jersey Shore Shark Attack (winners will be receiving their prizes soon, I promise — DR), the winners will now receive a typewritten email congratulating them on their wittiness hand-signed by one of our Overlord’s children.

And so Bert, we congratulate you on your sincere brilliance, and mswas, we congratulate you on being able to get friends to whine on your behalf.

This is the graphic that Replica has provided for us this week:


You can pen an excerpt from this book, write a blurb, create a video in which you and your pet act out a scene or anything you want. I mean, really, the photo just begs so many questions, and only you folks can give us the answers, so please, feast and take not a single prisoner!

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Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here, follow him on Twitter, or listen to his weekly TV podcast, Podjiba.