Space Cowboy And The Rocketeers Head To 'Space' This Morning

Billionaire Amazon God of Next Day Deliveries, Jeff Bezos, and his three-person crew blasted off in a phallic rocket ship into the edges of outer space this morning. It’s the thing mediocre science fiction movies of the ’50s are made of. We live in Amazon amazing times. While I absolutely do not begrudge Mary Wallace “Wally” Funk her well deserved opportunity to do spins and rolls above the Kármán line, if the Bezos brothers somehow, magically, didn’t make it back, I don’t think I’d be a bit sad. I’m not the only one either. A bunch of other plebs took to Twitter this morning to let us know how they really feel about this trip.

Imani Gandy

is there a pass harder than a hard pass? that one please https://t.co/yTuNK4RZv7

— Imani Gandy (@AngryBlackLady) July 20, 2021

The Northumbrians

Big congratulations to Jeff Bezos for successfully extracting enough wealth from the working class leave the planet on #BlueOrigin

— Northern Independence Party 🟨🟥 (@FreeNorthNow) July 20, 2021

Rat Plagued New Yorkers

Jeff Bezos could make himself a useful legend by paying taxes and solving NYC's rat problem but poking around outer orbit and squashing union drives is more glam I guess

— A Shady Dame From Seville (@SorayaMcDonald) July 20, 2021

Randy Rainbow

This Jeff Bezos space flight is one giant leap for who gives a fuck

— Randy Rainbow (@RandyRainbow) July 20, 2021

Where’s the lie?

BETTER HEADLINE: Jeff Bezos, a billionaire who built his wealth off the backs of working class people, now wants to colonize space because he's already exploited Earth. #BlueOrigin https://t.co/F4i5tlUQTS

— Ernest Owens (@MrErnestOwens) July 20, 2021

Billionaires will try ANYTHING to avoid paying their fair share in taxes. It's time for a wealth tax. https://t.co/g9aGly0gLH

— Rep. Pramila Jayapal (@RepJayapal) July 20, 2021

Fake cowboy Jeff Bezos and his space penis have brought me much needed laughter this morning.#gratitude

— LB (@LincolnsBible) July 20, 2021

The Rare Twitter Double-Dunk

Tulsi Gabbard should do the world a favor and go with Jeff Bezos. pic.twitter.com/vT4RW3Ap1g

— Outspoken (@Out5p0ken) July 20, 2021

So say we all

Jeff Bezos can definitely fuck off.

— Kate 🤍🇺🇸 (@ImSpeaking13) July 20, 2021