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Seedless Cocktail Avocados: Let's Blame Millennials Or Brunch Or Something

By Tori Preston | Miscellaneous | December 15, 2017 |

By Tori Preston | Miscellaneous | December 15, 2017 |

NPR alerted me to a thing that apparently exists, thanks to good ol’ Mother Nature: seedless cocktail avocados. They look like pickles, but they’re really just normal avocados without that inconvenient pit inside, created when avocado blossoms go un-pollinated in Spain and only available in December. Also the skin is edible? But probably not really.

They’re so luxurious, they were previously only used by high-end chefs — but now for a limited time they’re on sale at Marks & Spencer.

And this is a big deal, because apparently “avocado hand” is a problem — and these little babies may be the perfect solution.

What’s avocado hand, you ask? It’s when someone cuts themselves while prepping their ‘cado (as the kids these days call them, I’m sure). Now, some of you may be thinking “Wait — aren’t avocados basically pudding in a thick skin?” and the answer is YES THEY ARE. And yet! As the popularity of Nature’s Hand Grenade surges (amongst brunch-havers, millennials, and people with good taste), there is a corresponding increase in injuries caused by people trying to remove the death-trap that is the avocado pit from their sweet, fleshy prize. And those injuries are no laughing matter.

Well, they kind of are, because for shit’s sake people — use your brains! But those injuries CAN cause serious nerve and tendon damage, as surgeons are pointing out. It even happened to Meryl Streep! So if you’re the kind of person who can’t take the time to use careful knife skills in your mad scramble to get your ‘cado on (I’m gonna keep calling them that now), then keep your eyes open for these seedless cocktail avocados.

Or just, like, look up how to cut them properly. Here’s Inside Edition walking you through the process — though be warned, there are images of graphic avocado hand injuries included. And that is a sentence I never thought I’d have to write.