Fast food and bad ideas go together like peanut butter and jelly. It’s like a rite of passage: If you’ve never found yourself in a compromising position while drunk and/or high, just desperate to get a quick grease fix to satiate your cravings, you haven’t truly lived. Now, for most of us, I’d imagine our experiences involved something basic, like puking up cheap wine and pancakes in a Denny’s parking lot at 3 am the way a good teenager should (NOT THAT I’D KNOW). But then there are those rare souls whose bad ideas truly go above and beyond… and end with the cops showing up.
Take this guy, for example!
At 2 am on December 16th, this dude went through a McDonald’s drive-thru and tried to offer a bag of weed as payment for his food. And when the server working the window refused, the guy drove off — only to be apprehended by the cops later when he SHOWED UP AT THE SAME DRIVE-THRU AGAIN. Because duh, he still had the munchies. Also — and this really should have been obvious, but I’ll say it anyway — Port St. Lucie is in Florida. Because when it comes to Bad Ideas, Florida has an 80 percent market share.
Now look, it’s not like I’m up on my high horse saying I’d never try to barter for goods or services. Hell, one time I tried to pay a cab driver with my powder compact because I was too drunk to find my wallet. But trading drugs for a Big Mac is probably not good math, people! Or at least wait until that shit’s legalized. Then I imagine fast food places will reconsider this “No Weed For Food” policy, since, I mean, they know who their late-nite audience is.
To be fair, the guy later claimed his initial weed offer was just a joke. And I’d buy that. Weed makes really dumb shit seem funny, after all. And honestly, a joke gone wrong is a helluva lot better than what happened at a McDonald’s drive-thru in Australia last year, where some drunk guy went on an absolute rampage because the restaurant refused to fulfill his order of 200 Chicken McNuggets at 5 am. Now, there are a few things about this story that really set it apart:
1) The problem wasn’t the verbal abuse (“I want my fucking nuggets!”) or the quantity ordered, but the fact that McNuggets aren’t sold as part of McDonald’s breakfast menu. Because, again, he was there at around 5 in the morning.
2) He then circled back through the drive-thru and ordered 200 hash browns (for $230), which the manager hand delivered to him.
3) Still not satisfied, the man apparently then continued harassing the store, demanding a refund for 200 french fries and Big Macs he had never ordered (“I am going to fuck you all up,” he allegedly threatened).
But the best part of the whole thing is that, apparently, THE GUY WAS VEGAN. What he was planning on doing with 200 orders of McNuggets is anybody’s guess — unless you want to tell me that McNuggets aren’t actually made of animals?
But even in the realm of McDonald’s Drive-Thru Hijinks, there’s the normal Bad Ideas… and then there’s the Bad Ideas With Guns, which is a whole other level. Take this story from a McDonald’s drive-thru in Indianapolis earlier this month, when a customer was approached by an armed robber while he was in his car, waiting for his order. The robber demanded cash, and when the victim attempted to drive away the robber clung to the vehicle. After dragging the robber around the parking lot, the robber then tried to drag the victim out of the car. And that’s when the robber discovered that he wasn’t the only one with a gun.
“The original struggle was over the suspect’s gun and then they got into a fight here in the lot and they were fighting over the victim’s gun at that point,” said Capt. Troutt.
The victim was able to use his own gun against the suspect, firing 3-4 times and striking the suspect once in the arm, according to IMPD. The suspected robber was taken to an area hospital in good condition, Troutt said.
I’d say the big takeaway here is that some serious shit happens at McDonald’s, apparently — and in retrospect, Weed Bro doesn’t seem that bad, really!
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