Oh, you thought the dismemberment of our health care system and the daily proof that our elected officials are insane liars who don’t care about this country was bad? Well, you know what you should REALLY be worried about? BEARS.
The Colbert Report warned us about the threat of bears for years, but did we listen? Noooo. Bears are still out there today, being all bear-y with their paws and faces and deceptively cute cubs.
So does Yellowstone National Park really think a Hollywood actor is going to be any more convincing than a fake conservative pundit? Well, apparently that’s the hope, as they’ve recruited Jeff Bridges to join their “A Bear Doesn’t Care” campaign, which promotes bear safety education and in particular: bear spray.
“I wanted to get involved with Yellowstone because I care deeply about bears,” said The Dude, a part-time Montana resident. “As hikers, backpackers, anglers, and photographers, we all need to carry bear spray and know how to use it — no excuses!”
The more you know, right? Only in this case, what they want you to “know” about bear safety is BONE-CHILLING. Here’s a closer look at the bottom of that poster:
I don’t care how valid it is — “Do Not Run” is not what I want to hear if I’m about to get mauled. OF COURSE I’m gonna run! That is literally the only circumstance in which I will ever run!
Do you hear that people? A BEAR DOESN’T CARE.