5 Kid's Cartoons That Won't Make You Fly Into A Stabby Rage: They're Like Waffles For My Dumptruck

By Jodi Smith | Miscellaneous | September 30, 2016 |

My daughter is 9 years old and will be 10 next month. While some girls her age are intent on growing up far too quickly, she is content to be her age and enjoy all of the things that go along with being a kid. This includes Monster High dolls, Captain Underpants books, comics, and cartoons.

This pleases me greatly.

Sometimes, when your kids like cartoons, they want to watch terrible ones like Total Drama Island or that horribly animated Garfield tripe on Cartoon Network or whatever. Other times, other superbly glorious times, they instead choose to watch these gems that pull you in and that might be watched even when there is no child in the house. I love these.

Phineas and Ferb - Disney Channel

Every show has a very strict formula. Phineas and Ferb decide what they’re gonna do that day. Their sister Candace is determined to bust them while romancing her Jeremy. Dr. Doofenshmirtz has a ridiculous plan to take over the tri-county area and Perry the Platypus must stop him as Agent P.

It’s amazing. Not only is the show funny and inventive, it’s also got catchy songs and is delightfully self-aware.

Bonus Facts: Doofenshmirtz’s daughter Vanessa is voiced by Olivia Olsen, who is also the voice of Marceline in Adventure Time. Olivia was also the girl with the huge voice in Love Actually. Lawrence Fletcher (Phineas and Ferb’s father) is voiced by Richard O’Brien of Rocky Horror Picture Show fame.

Adventure Time - Cartoon Network

Adventure Time seems like a strange show filled with hallucinations and fart jokes. You have Finn the Human and Jake the Dog helping out Princess Bubblegum and saving the Candy Kingdom. You have an insane, princess-obsessed Ice King and his band of penguins. Marceline the vampire queen eats the red out of things, while Lumpy Space Princess fights off suitors interested in her lumps.

Every once in a while, the show will throw you for a loop with a big reveal. For instance, this show takes place after the apocalyptic Mushroom War. Finn is the only human left on a planet with ghosts, talking animals, and magic. The Ice King has reasons for his insanity and obsessions and the entire show becomes sadder and infinitely more amazing as each piece of character and world back story is revealed.

Of course, there are also fart jokes and amazing songs.

Bonus Facts: The Ice King is voiced by Tom Kenny, aka Spongebob Squarepants. Jake the Dog is voiced by John DiMaggio, aka Bender Bending Unit Rodriguez. Donald Faison once guest starred as a cookie that wanted to be a Princess.

Regular Show - Cartoon Network

Regular Show takes place in a world populated by talking birds, yetis, gumball machines, lollipops, ghosts, and various other things. Mordecai and Rigby are best friends that happen to be an anthropomorphic blue jay and raccoon. They work at a park run by Benson, a gumball machine, and owned by Pops, a lollipop. Also on staff are Muscleman, Hi-Five Ghost, Skips, and Thomas.

Whenever Mordecai and Rigby attempt normal activities, something abnormal happens. Like real zombies on park movie night. Or being thrust into a nuclear meltdown situation after pretending to be astronauts to get a free grilled cheese.

Bonus Facts: Skips is voiced by Mark Hamill.

Clarence - Cartoon Network

I wasn’t sold on Clarence at first, but from the initial watch I was hooked. Clarence is a young boy with unbridled enthusiasm and a positive outlook on life. He’s one of those kids that doesn’t know a stranger and uses his imagination non-stop. This kid can take a boring dinner party and turn it into a treasure hunt. As Clarence himself says, “It’s worth it!”

Bonus Fact: Sumo is voiced by Tom Kenny. Dude gets around.

Teen Titans Go! - Cartoon Network

I hated this cartoon when I first saw the commercials. I’m fairly certain I bitched about it in a post on here and you shits were asses about it. At any rate, I grew to love Teen Titans Go!. It’s goofy and takes the character traits of the Teen Titans to ridiculously exaggerated heights, but how can you hate a show were Beast Boy turns into a gorilla and refuses to change back in an attempt to drive Robin crazy?