Don't Be Fooled By His Chest Hair: 'Mad Men's' Glen Is Still Creepy

By Sarah Carlson | Mad Men | April 21, 2015 |

By Sarah Carlson | Mad Men | April 21, 2015 |

Sunday’s episode of Mad Men, “The Forecast,” brought us the return of Glen Bishop (Marten Holden Weiner).

And while I assumed most viewers would have the same reaciton I did — to yell “Ahhhhhhhhh! Glen!” and in turn not be intrigued by his having made it through puberty — a few too many of y’all were like:

Which has me all:

This is not a Neville Longbottom situation. (Besides, Neville could have been The Chosen One; he’s inherently awesome, baby fat or no baby fat.) This is a “hide your kids, hide your wife” situation.

So, I feel it is my duty to remind everyone just how creepy Glen is, and more importantly, just how creepy the Betty-Glen dymanic is. Because it’s creepy.

Never forget Glen was first the Drapers’ neighbor, and he and Betty bonded. They hung out.

He made moves.

Betty rebuffed them, but still humoured the little weirdo, the two of them connected by childlike reasoning and suburban alienation.

He walked in on her as she used the restroom, just curious to see what she was up to.

She wasn’t happy, and tried to talk to him about appropriateness:

In turn, he asked for a lock of her hair:

AND SHE GAVE HIM ONE.

Glen’s mother, naturally, found this decidedly inappropriate. So Betty slapped her in the supermarket.

Later, Glen comforted a tearful Betty as she described how lonely she felt. “I wish I was older,” he said.

He even wanted to run away with her:

Eventually, however, she turned on him (out of jealousy?), and she forbade Sally from hanging out with him. But he kept in touch.

So, his return was certainly a surprise to Betty, who was flustered by his defined chin, chest hair, and polyester ensemble.

He wants to be the Greg Brady to her Carol Brady. He’s finally older, though he’s also headed off to war. “I know something could happen to me, but I feel safe — because I know you’re mine.”

NO, BETTY.

NO NO NO.

Damn it if she doesn’t consider it, using the excuse of “I’m married” to stop it before it starts. Yes you are, Betty, but there are hundreds of other reasons not to have an affair with Glen Bishop, your marriage not even at the top of the list.

Thankfully, Weiner didn’t have Glen do anything too dopey, like pulling out Betty’s lock of hair and professing his eternal love. And it is true that we needed this closure for the Betty-Glen story. They have a connection, all right, and I like how Veronica Fitzpatrick summed it up over at The Brink: “Betty taking Glen’s hand to her face isn’t just an offer, take this, but also a question: does someone love me?

Still, will Glen ever be anything other than creepy?

Nope. Sorry, buddy.

Sarah Carlson is Television Editor for Pajiba. You can find her on Twitter.

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