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The President of the United States Thinks Exercise Is a Left-Wing Conspiracy

By Dustin Rowles | Horror | May 15, 2017 |

By Dustin Rowles | Horror | May 15, 2017 |

Good morning. Here’s something new we learned about the President this weekend:

President Trump reportedly eschews exercise because he believes it drains the body’s “finite” energy resources, but experts say this argument is flawed because the human body actually becomes stronger with exercise.

Trump’s views on exercise were mentioned in a New Yorker article this month and in “Trump Revealed,” The Washington Post’s 2016 biography of the president, which noted that Trump mostly gave up athletics after college because he “believed the human body was like a battery, with a finite amount of energy, which exercise only depleted.” (via WashPo)

So, Donald Trump’s views on exercise are similar to Billy Connelly’s views on masturbation: You get 100 times, and then you’re done!

So, whatever you do, don’t let the President do a push up. It could kill him!

Actually, Trump’s thoughts on exercise echo those of Rush Limbaugh, who legit believes that exercise is a left-wing conspiracy.

The last thing I care about is the fitness and the exercise stuff ‘cause that gets bogus. I’m on record as saying that exercise is not the way to lose weight, and all this preoccupation with it as a weight loss regimen is absurd.

Now, if you want to exercise and run and do all that stuff ‘cause you feel better, fine. I don’t care. I’m not a Nazi like other people on the left are. If you want to engage in all this stuff, and if you want to obsess over your blood oxygen rate, fine, you go right ahead. But don’t tell me I have to, and don’t tell me that you’re losing weight doing so, because you’re not. It is impossible to lose weight exercising.

This is absurd, that we got a whole business now burgeoning on trying to get you off your butt on the pretext you’re gonna lose weight and get healthier. I don’t even know that they can make that claim. But if you like it, fine. Don’t misunderstand. I’m not being critical like the left is of people that do things they don’t like. I just hate people being lied to and misled.

Limbaugh legit believes that exercise is a left-wing conspiracy, and Trump’s beliefs on exercise basically mirror those of Limbaugh, which is either depressing or hysterical or both.

And I know, I know, pedants: Exercise alone doesn’t result in weight loss, so please won’t “Well, actually” me. Just stand back and acknowledge the glorious irony that a couple of tubby old white guys are calling exercise a left-wing conspiracy. Of course, there’s part of me that wishes that our energy stores were finite and that exercise would deplete them because …


Hat Tip: Kris