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Which Country Will Trump Bring Us to the Brink with Today?

By Pajiba Staff | Horror | February 2, 2017 |

By Pajiba Staff | Horror | February 2, 2017 |

In the last 24 hours, Dipshit Donnie Trump has managed to embroil us in diplomatic conflicts with Mexico and Australia, who are… supposed to be our allies? I thought? In a normal, sane world? Also yesterday, President Hitler Steve Bannon said “war” and “China” in the same sentence. Everything’s fine.


But it’s a brand new day, with brand new opportunities for Trump to cause diplomatic fuck-ups that potentially kill us all. Which country will he bring us to the brink of war with next? We predict:

Austria: Because he’s mad at Ah-nuld.

Colombia: Because he mistakes it for the university.

Canada: We’re surprised this hasn’t happened yet. Maybe he meant to call up Justin Trudeau and yell at him about Muslims but got distracted by seeing his own face on the TV?

Switzerland: It might take Trump a few days to get us into hot shit with the famously neutral Swiss, but if anyone can do it, it’s “has no clue who Frederick Douglass is” Donnie.

Sweden: Because why the fuck not, and he likes to keep us confounded and terrified all at once.

Uruguay: Because he thinks they’re questioning his sexuality.

England: Because they call Cheetos “wotsits,” and that’s racist to his kind.

Holland: Out of envy, because they’re all tall and have big hands over there.

Iran: Abort joke, abort joke! Too real.

Chad: Some guy named Chad once made fun of his toupee on Twitter.

Russia: LOL j/k, they’re besties 4 life.

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