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Donald Trump Is Officially the Girl You Wish You Hadn't Started a Conversation With at a Party

By Dustin Rowles | Horror | May 1, 2017 |

By Dustin Rowles | Horror | May 1, 2017 |

Donald Trump has said some really dumb things over the course of his Presidency. Like, staggeringly dumb. Like the time he implied that Frederick Douglass was still alive. Or the many times that he’s mentioned that Abraham Lincoln was a Republican, as if this were knowledge no one else had. Or the time he asked, “Have you heard of Susan B. Anthony?”

Susan B. Anthony?

And yet, despite repeatedly showing a complete ignorance of American history, the man’s level of stupidity can still manage to surprise. For instance, Donald’s Trump’s favorite President is Andrew Jackson. He has a portrait of Andrew Jackson in the Oval Office. He frequently cites Jackson as an influence.

And yet, Trump doesn’t appear to know that much about Andrew Jackson. Here he is in an interview with Saleno Zito:

Jackson was a “swashbuckler”? Either he doesn’t know much about Andrew Jackson, or he doesn’t know what a swashbuckler is because Donald Trump is the first person in the history of mankind to refer to Andrew Jackson as a swashbuckler.

But here is where the wheels come off:

“He was a very tough person, but he had a big heart He was really angry that he saw what was happening with regard to the Civil War. He said, ‘There’s no reason for this.’”

Andrew Jackson died 15 years before Abraham Lincoln was elected, and 16 years before the first battle was fought in the Civil War.

Andrew Jackson also supported slavery.

“People don’t realize, you know, the Civil War, if you think about it, why? People don’t ask that question, but why was there a Civl War. Why could that one not have been worked out?”

Right? The Civil War was a total trajesty.


How did we mess that one up? Andrew Jackson could’ve negotiated that deal. A little compromise! Slaves would have been worth 4/5th of a person, instead of 3/5ths, and maybe Jackson could have worked it out so that slaves got the weekends off to be with their families.

Dude, what even?

Someone should probably also tell Trump that Jackson was a Democrat. In fact, he founded the party. I bet Trump doesn’t know that. Someone whisper it in his ear. Watch his head explode!

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Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here, follow him on Twitter, or listen to his weekly TV podcast, Podjiba.