Considering its genre, it’s quite a feat that Game of Thrones has managed to pull in the array of viewership that it has. I don’t think Lady C has ever read a book from the fantasy genre in her life, but she absolutely loves Game of Thrones.
So do I, but after episode four of season seven, it’s become very clear that we’re both holding out for different things. We have different goals. So I polled some of my family and friends and some overlords to see what the real thing left on the menu was for everyone.
And yes, it may be as simple as I want to see Jaime survive, or I want Jorah to be the Prince That Was Promised or I’m House Cersei all the way, but if you think about it, what are you really waiting for? What’s the thing that will make it all come together for you?
You want to see all three Dragons alive, first of all, and with riders. Preferably Dany, Jon and Tyrion.
At this point, we all know what’s coming. It’s the battle of the living vs the dead. That’s all that matters. And after how disgusting and self-serving and vile the human race has shown itself to be? Hell, you’re rooting for the Night’s King to sit on the Iron Throne.
Olenna had it right. BE A DRAGON. After last week, all I want to do is see Dany take off the shackles and start to burn, baby, burn! Fuck everybody! You have dragons! Turn the entire continent into Harrenhal!
House Hard Boiled:
Like Hemingway might do, were he still alive and watching the show, you’re rooting for the hardasses. The short of speech and long on deed. Tough, hard, men and women who bear the burden without a second thought and are the first into the fray. These are your people.
House Full Payback:
This is kind of House Arya, but moreso, it’s the place for people who want to see everyone get what they deserve. Even if they’re not on Arya’s list. Everyone ends up in their rightful place, be it a throne or a horrible, grisly death. You just want to see some form of justice in the world.
You love the tortured souls and they’re the people you’re rooting for. Turn that angst into anger and make it dance!
Huh. Now that you mention it, I guess I’m not really holding out for anything, really. I’m just going to finish the show because, I guess, I’m sort of in it now and I want to see how it all shakes out. But I don’t have a personal agenda I’m tied to.
At some point in the next ten eps, people are gonna die. People who everyone loves like family. Plot armor will become irrelevant. Everyone’s favy-faves are gonna eat it and I’m gonna make popcorn and Euron Greyjoy myself with pleasure.
Have a plan. Have a goddamn plan! You gravitate to the thinkers, the schemers and the people able to see past the end of their own nose.
Fuck the elite! The people that really impress you come from humble beginnings. Keep your Fancy Lad school. We’ll take the school of hard knocks over that any day.
Do you love that Cersie is like “yeah I sleep with my brother, fuck you!” Are you only holding out for Jon Snoo to use his patented Cave-Kiss on his own auntie? Did you ever wish you could vacation at one of Littlefinger’s brothels in King’s Landing? If you’re someone who digs a twist, House Taboo is where your fetish belongs.
Enough with the boy scouts! This is a fucking brutal world. Let’s hear it for the people who drive the plot! The killers and assholes and despots! Keep your eagle scout badge, my character will slit your throat with it while you sleep.
House Spirit Guide:
Are you an animal lover on steroids? Did it kill you when that Dothraki dude cut the leg off Bronn’s horse last week? Do you just want to find a way for Ghost and Nymeria to end up sitting on Jon and Arya’s lap in front of a warm hearth?
Do you long for a scenario where Ghost actually rides Drogon? Do you wish Bran would just warg an otter or a bunny or a hummingbird? Then this is the House for you.
House Stark Family Reunion:
This one seemed like a pipe dream only a few weeks ago. All of Ned and Cat’s surviving children, reunited under the roof at Winterfell. More than anything, you want to see that Jon and Arya reunion. Get home Jon!
So what endgame are you? And did I miss your particular House? Make your sigil and post it in the comments.
Follow Lord Castleton on Twitter
Did you know that you can make ANY shirt at The Pajiba Store? Just pick a shirt you
like and UPLOAD YOUR OWN DESIGN. We still get a bump for every shirt you make, even if
it’s not Pajiba-specific.