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On That Important 'Game of Thrones' Moment We All Forgot to Talk About

By Vivian Kane | Game of Thrones | May 25, 2016 |

By Vivian Kane | Game of Thrones | May 25, 2016 |


Obviously, there was one huge event from this week’s episode “The Door” that we all fixated on. It was, you know, that thing with the door. But something else monumental happened in this episode, something we’ve been anticipating and discussing for all six seasons. AND IT HAPPENED.

We saw a penis.

This is where I would include a screen grab, but I just rewatched the scene to get one and oh my god, it’s not even blurrable. It takes up the whole screen. So here’s this innocuous stand-in instead.

If you somehow missed it (HOW?), one of the actors in that theatrical Stark biopic that gives Arya A Girl serious thinky face, opens a scene giving himself a close-up self-care wart inspection. Like, REAL close-up. And while we’d caught a few glimpses of peen around Westeros before (that dude during Cersei’s shame walk, a big ol’ prosthetic on Hodor), this one felt different.

No, it wasn’t Daario’s D, or even any main character’s. But it was presented in the same way that female nudity often is: up-close, extended shots for really no good reason at all. Sure, there’s a lot of purposeful nudity on this show (Fire Walk With Dany), most instances of nudity are just women standing around with their tits out. So why not have a man do the same, close-up, for what felt like a million uncomfortable minutes?

Remember Emilia Clarke’s idea for how the show should end?

I want to see Daenerys and her three dragons share the throne. Eat goat they’ve barbecued. And bring back all the pretty boys, get them to take their trousers down, and be like, “I’m now the queen of everything! I’d like close-ups of all the boys’ penises, please.”

She was on Colbert this week and made sure to be a little cocky (PHRASING) about the fact that clearly, they heard her.

The penis has been freed. “Junk equality” for all!

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