Just real quick here, because I need to get this off my chest. See this photo right here?
Cute, right? I mean, Chris Hemsworth has his shoes off in a nice restaurant, but he looks clean. His feet do not look unsightly from this angle, and he’s fucking Thor, right?
But there’s a slippery slope, people. If we let one superhero actor get away with removing his shoes in a restaurant, we’ll end up here on our next cross-country flight:
That’s not OK. 1) Put your damn shoes on, you’re in public; and 2) keep your feet out of other people’s personal space.
That brings me to another, related point: Movie theaters, in an effort to draw crowds away from Netflix, are getting really swanky. How many of you have movie theaters in your town with fancy, leather reclining seats now? Because, they are awesome. We’re a four movie theater town, but the only one I go to now is the one with the fancy, reclining seats.
It feels like home.
But here’s the thing: IT’S STILL NOT YOUR HOME.
I’m seeing a lot of people come into these movie theaters treating it like it is their home. To a certain extent, that’s fine. You want to bring your pillow and blanket? Cool! I’m OK with that. Get cozy! You want to wear your pajamas and slippers? Uh, OK, sure. I’ve seen that, too.
But do us all a favor, OK? Keep your damn shoes on.
And I know, in the summer, you’re wearing flip-flops or sandals, so what’s the difference really? The difference is THE PRINCIPLE OF THE THING. OK? Keep your damn shoes on. It’s not a living room! It may be a reclining chair, but it’s not your reclining chair. And if people start taking off their flip flops and sandals, they’re gonna feel comfortable slipping off those snow boots in the winter, then we got to fucking smell your feet while we’re trying to eat popcorn and watch some crazy-ass serial killing clown kill teenagers. Don’t. Be respectful. You may go to the movies often enough that the theater feels like home, but it’s not your home, no matter how comfortable it is. It’s a place of business, and you are surrounded by other people. Be mindful of those people.
Keep your shoes on.
Thank you for listening.