Friends, I am not ashamed to tell you that I am very, very, very excited to see Hobbs and Shaw. I mean, this movie looks like it’s going to have it all, and by that I mean it will have The Rock and Jason Statham, and a lot of cool explosions, plus Idris Elba. This has all the hallmarks of being a “Kate movie” and I’m anticipating it to get ranked five out five “bunnies in the box,” which means it should be in the ballpark (airplane hangar?) of the greatest action movie of all time, Con Air.
Here’s what you need to know about the first Fast and Furious franchise spin-off in the form of its last trailer:
Ha, you thought I would paint you a picture with words about it? OK, I’ll do that too.
Hobbs and Shaw are unlikely bros. See, Shaw was the villain in a few Fast and Furious movies, going so far as to even kill Han, who was pretty cool. But, because of plot devices, he’s now kind of sort of welcomed into the family. By that I mean, he was at the last BBQ and laughed at Roman, so who knows. Anyway, even though Han is technically dead, it’s the Fast and Furious movies, so he’s probably not. Hobbs was a cop of some kind who was chasing the F&F cramily (that’s the word I just made up to combine “crew” and “family”) and now he’s in the mix too. I like Hobbs because he’s played by The Rock, and also, he just sort of shows up, mugs for the camera, and then fades back into the mist until he’s summoned again to aid the cramily. Let’s not forget that Idris Elba is in this, and he is not part of the cramily yet, and appears to be a bad guy, but we know how that goes.
Even if he kills people, he could be in the cramily by Christmas. Such is how the cramily works. Anyway, there are going to be explosions and both Hobbs and Shaw are delivering a hearty f*ck you to the bad guys and physics, so clearly I will be there opening day.
So there are rumors that Keanu is going to be in Hobbs and Shaw as the main villain. The Rock has gone on record denying that, but I won’t believe it until the credits roll and my sweet Keanu doesn’t show up. If there’s one thing I know it’s that rumors on the internet that are completely unfounded (this one popped up because David Leitch, the original co-director of John Wick, is directing Hobbs and Shaw) is that you can take them to the bank and make sound financial decisions based on them. That’s why I have a bunch of John Carter merch sitting in my storage space—those action figures are definitely going to appreciate in value one day. Some day. I hope.
Now that you’re up to speed, I hope you’re as excited about this movie as I am. If not, this should get you there:
According to The Rock, Hobbs and Shaw is the first time Samoan culture has been showcased in “a big global movie.” So that’s pretty cool, too!
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Recent @Fandango interview with my bud @nikkinovak explaining the differences between a Maori Haka and Samoan Siva Tau. Being half Black & half Samoan it’s very cool and personal to be able to showcase one of my cultures in HOBBS & SHAW. First time ever Samoan culture has been showcased in a big event global movie. #HobbsAndShaw August 2nd 🌎
So obviously the question you should be asking yourself now is: What should I wear to go see Hobbs and Shaw opening day!?
I’m here to help you answer that burning question.
Personally, I am someone who likes to dress semi-casually for the movies. So right now, I plan on wearing leggings (black, because half of my popcorn ends up all over me, and I need to be able to mask the grease stains.) and possibly a homemade Hobbs and Shaw tribute t-shirt I make with puffy paint and iron-on appliques.
Naturally, I don’t expect you to put as much effort into your shirt as that, but maybe that’s why I have a shot at being invited into the cramily and you don’t? Just saying.
If you want to forgo the leggings and homemade t-shirt option, yet still pay tribute to the film, perhaps you could wear a mechanic’s jumpsuit to allude to the car-culture that the franchise represents.
Or maybe you want to come in your finest formal wear, to show respect for the cinematic masterpiece that we all anticipate Hobbs and Shaw to be. That’s a viable option, too.
If you’ve been looking for an occasion to wear your replica WWF/WWE championship belt out in public, there has never been a better time to do so. Let’s not forget where The Rock came from.
Ultimately though, it’s less about what you wear and more about that you come with an open heart and mind. That’s really what seeing Hobbs and Shaw is all about. Well, that, and smuggling in wine in your purse because this is probably a movie that is better a bit inebriated. I don’t make the rules, I just share them.
I’ll see you all there opening day, August 2. I plan to start camping out in front of my local theater next week in anticipation of the event, perhaps you’ll join me.