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Eloquent Eloquence: Christina Hendricks Bacon Whiskey Baby Ninja Star

By Prolixity Julien | Eloquent Eloquence | September 30, 2011 |

By Prolixity Julien | Eloquent Eloquence | September 30, 2011 |

Eloquent Eloquence is a compilation of the 10 best comments of the week. Comments in film reviews are not eligible for inclusion.

10. Pajiba ipsum snarky bitchy reviews. Community this list is missing bangable eloquent eloquence. Sexy celebrities are better than us fuck electric bugaloo Human Centipede trade news mindhole. Comment diversion RDJ hot excellent review cannonball Olyphant, Hollywood, overrated, bunk, Emma Stone. Christina Hendricks bacon whiskey baby ninja star, Baby Goose, seriously random list liquor overlords. Fassbender. Almost Famous rhymes with vagina basement murdertank butthole. ipsum

9. TK, are you alright? Are you sure you don’t feel like burning something? Perhaps just a hamlet?

I’m a bit worried - I don’t think you even swore at us. ginmonkey

8. A-man I feel your pain, his work touched a lot of people. He showered everyone with happiness. His passing was hard for many people to swallow. He was one in a million, they don’t come any better than him. When he became big, he didn’t leave any of his friends behind. His passing left a big hole to fill, he came and gone to quick. Pookie

I’m sorry a-man I thought you were talking about John Holmes, not John Hughes. Pookie

7. BiblioGeek:

I don’t know what you mean. We’re just having a nice chat between girls here. Now if you’ll excuse me, I was in the middle of cursing of those Julii bitches.

By the spirits of my ancestors I curse Atia of the Julii. Let dogs rape her. Let her children die and her houses burn. Let her live a long life of bitter misery and shame. Gods of the Inferno, I offer you her limbs, her head, her mouth, her breath, her speech, her heart, her liver, her stomach. Gods of the Inferno, let me see her suffer deeply, and I will rejoice and sacrifice to you. PaddyDog

6. The nice part about having two complete nobodies involved is that you can pretend that these guys are going to be the next David Mamet and Ridley Scott. There is no evidence to the contrary. Monday is Optimism Day! ed newman

5. Was there a corpse in your tape dispenser too? If not, why would anyone even question eating a potato chip out of it? Three-nineteen

4. The Palin photo was taken right before she let the puppies go and then shot them from a helicopter. snapnhiss

3. A Typewriter that makes cocktails. Dellegible.

I can think of no better way to transcribe the works of Hemingway and Kerouac.

Loquacirrhosis of the liver, HERE I COME! branded

2. At the sight of Sam Worthington climbing out onto a ledge and threatening to jump, many floors below the pavement recoiled in horror at the prospect of soon having to interact with something far, far blander than it. zeke the pig

1. Shut the eff up! Clive Owen is bangable no matter what he looks like. I would still shag that man even if that thing on his upper lip was a REAL caterpillar.

Hell, I would grow a mustache just so that his mustache and my mustache could make beautiful, forbidden mustache-y love. Kelly

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