Zooey Deschanel Really Does Not Care for Crumbl Cookies

I am the father of twins who are bright, funny, and still very much eighth-grade girls. That means they like to frequent Starbucks, and once every few months, they and their friends insist on visiting Crumbl because there’s a new cookie release or because they forgot how much they disliked it the last time they went. So they order a six-pack for four or five girls, eat maybe one-and-a-half cookies between them, claim they’ll eat the rest later, and eventually 80 percent of it goes to waste.

It’s because Crumbl cookies kind of suck. They look really good, but it’s not clear to me that they actually know how to make cookies that are meant for consumption. The flavor combinations are strange, and the textures are borderline gross - is this supposed to be a cookie? Or cheesesake? and why does it fail so badly at both? - and half the cookies seem completely underbaked.

I know, because every time the twins go, there’s plenty left to try. I don’t think I’ve ever had more than two bites of a single cookie: One to determine if it tastes good, and a second to confirm that it does not.

All of which is to say: Zooey Deschanel is not a fan, either. Someone gifted her a set of Crumbl cookies, she reviewed them on TikTok, and her professional opinion as a celebrity is: No thanks, not for me. She’s not wrong.

@zooeydeschanel

Somebody had to say it… 🍪

♬ Chill and gentle lo-fi/10 minutes(1455687) - nightbird_bgm