I will be honest. I had no idea who Caroline Calloway was until Kayleigh told the world she’s a (not-so-clever) scammer last year. Since then, I’ve been oddly transfixed whenever she popped up on my radar, which admittedly is not often because as I tell anyone who asks, I only give my attention to non-actor famous people if they have a reality show on Bravo. Being an “influencer” does not cut the mustard with me.
For those of you who need a refresher on who this chick is, I’ll make it short. She inexplicably created an online following on Instagram by posting personal confessions and stories next to her pics. She tried to have a series of retreats around the country for her followers to do some vapid s*it only she was completely ill-equipped to put said retreats on and boned the entire thing up spectacularly. (You can read all about that, from this very site, here.) Then, it turned out that she didn’t really write her captions, her friend Natalie did, and they have since friend-broke up. You can read her confessional here, at The Cut. If you’re still following along, and your eyes haven’t glazed over from sheer boredom, congratulations! You’re almost caught up!
Since the Natalie article, Calloway has been teasing her response for quite some time. It’s finally here… sort of.
See, she had promised a certain word count to everyone that the article fell well short of, so in response, she posted a pic of (what is implied to be) her boobs, without her face to make up for it. If you’re so inclined, you can go see it on her Twitter page. I’m not really sure what the correlation is between word count and flashing your talent, and whether this is a standard thing if you don’t meet it, but friends? It makes me grateful there is no minimum word count here at Pajiba, I’ll tell you that.
Anyway, this is what she said (nude pics, aside. That link is NSFW, btw):
I f**ked up. I said Part One would be 15,000 words, but it’s actually 6,000. I wrote it in a Word doc with a bunch of other notes and I must not have selected the text properly when I checked the word count. My bad! Please accept this uncensored nude along with my humble apology
Additionally, in order to read her response, you either have to do some very adept Googlin’ or you must pay $10 to read her response at her website. Let’s just say I’ve read it, and I’m going to leave it at that.
Since apparently all you need to do to get some attention on the internet right now is show off what the good Lord gave ya, Caroline is eking out more time from her 15 minutes of fame by picking fights with people on Twitter. You love to see it.
Now, I could link out to all these petty tweets she’s throwing at people, but I’d rather focus on one which my friend called my attention to because she follows Calloway’s BS more than I do.
See, there’s a podcast called Scam Goddess, and I’ve been told it’s good (I am not a podcast person, really…see my comments re: Reality show on Bravo, above) and they did an episode with guest star Jameela Jamil, on Caroline Calloway recently.
She white lady-ed all over the place in her response to the podcast, talking about her feelings and generally being, in the immortal words of Countess Luann, “like, uncool.”
Since this is 2020 and our entire lives are online, this naturally played out on Twitter:
I told her what was reported and legitimately sourced. Also, if your brand isn’t scamming people the book called “scammer” and the “scam events” and that time you scammed all those women is…misleading? It’s a comedy podcast we just had fun! https://t.co/O2G34t5KkZ— SCAM GODDESS (@DivaLaci) April 1, 2020
Not all articles about me are true just as not all articles about Jameela are true. You picked some shitty sources. I had to make scamming my brand in order to reclaim the vitality of that news cycle. It hurts me when people makes jokes about me that are blatantly untrue. Simple.— ◥◤Caroline Calloway (@carolinecaloway) April 1, 2020
This is my particular favorite Tweet on the matter:
Also “escalate this further” is a veiled threat and I’m lawyerd down so please pull up. https://t.co/1TD1DkVFTC— SCAM GODDESS (@DivaLaci) April 1, 2020
So basically, a chick who “wrote” (of course it’s not been released yet) a book called “Scammer” is getting mad at a podcast that is devoted to scammers, doing an episode on her being a scammer. LOL. I can’t.
So, since I asked a question with the title of this post, I feel compelled to give you an answer here. So, if you’re wondering why Caroline Calloway is showing her boobs and picking fights on Twitter?
Well, for starters, because she can, and, well, I’ll let the Countess get the final word, here:
(Now who needs to be cool in all of this is up to you friends. My part here in your journey on this post is done.)
Header Image Source: Getty