Friends, Miley Cyrus and Cody Simpson are a couple because People.com told me so.
We can safely assume that—in a world full of uncertainties, People.com is old reliable. That’s not why we’re here today. No, friends, I’m afraid Miley Cyrus may be in grave danger here. I’ll explain.
See, recently Miley posted on Cody Simpson’s Instagram account, and it got me worried. You can see for yourself:
“Boo thang?” Really?! She’s playing with fire here and doesn’t understand the ramifications of dating a ghost, friends.
That’s what she’s talking about here, yes? Cody Simpson, whom I have never heard of before, is a ghost. Sure, a quick Google search could tell me who he is, but it’s generic name. I’m sure someone named Cody Simpson has done something of note lately—but I’m a big believer of believing people when they tell you who they are, and in this case, Cyrus is calling Simpson a ghost, so we must take this at face value.
Dating a ghost is a complicated thing. You have to deal with inter-dimensional distance, and perhaps more importantly, ghostly duties which may call Simpson away on date night. You don’t get to tell the Bureau “sorry, I can’t go scare those campers boss, I’ve got a date with a woman who sang “Wrecking Ball.” When the Bureau calls, you must answer, or else.
Obviously, I speak from experience as I have dated a ghost, too—so I can tell you authoritatively that dating a “Boo thang” isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. You’ll grow tired of having to use doors when they can go through walls. It’s just not fair!
The heart wants what the heart wants though, so I don’t know what to tell you.
Could I be wrong and Cody Simpson isn’t a ghost, so Miley doesn’t have to fear the Bureau and what they do when you steal the heart of one of their operatives? I mean sure, like I said, I didn’t Google who Cody Simpson is.
Am I wrong, though?!
Only time will tell.
Header Image Source: Getty