Why are Prince Harry and Meghan Markle Moving Away from Prince William and Kate Middleton? Ghosts, Obviously
Look, I’m not going to beat around the bush here—ask any friend who lives across the pond, and they’ll all tell you two universal truths about the UK:
1) Their chocolate and health care system is superior (these two facts may be related)
2) The entire damn country is crawling with ghosts
Meghan Markle obviously saw the first truth as a boon and was more than likely the sole reason she married Harry. I can only surmise that she grossly underestimated the influence ghosts have on daily life in the UK—which is why she is so keen to move out of Kensington Palace ASAP, where Prince William and Kate Middleton share a home as well.
Everyone on the Royal side is underplaying the dire situation of the hauntings Meghan is enduring at the moment, trying to pass off their “bolt in the night” sudden nature of their move as a natural progression for a couple who are about to have their first child to want to move out of a two-bedroom flat at Kensington Palace, for a larger, 10-bedroom home in Windsor.
Oh, please—who are they trying to fool here?!
Here’s the deal—since the UK is crawling with ghosts due to the entire island being populated for at least 50 years, if not 2,000. Daily hauntings, like waking up next to a Roman soldier glowering over your bed while he appears to bleed profusely from a fatal stab made in 220 AD, mouthing something you can’t make out, but you just know is bad news; is just another day for a Brit. That goes double for any Royal, who come from a long line of people who most definitely used crown-mandated executions to seal their station of power. I have it on fairly good authority that Harry’s first full sentence was made to the shadowy apparition of Richard the 3rd who appeared in his nursery at 2:22 am, like he did every night, with “What happened to your nephew Edward, Richard?”
Prince Harry was quite the precocious child.
So why is Meghan insisting on moving away, now? I’m pretty sure she believes that inhabiting Kensington Palace with her husband, Prince William, and the myriad of Royals who also live there is creating a super vortex of ghosts that quite frankly are terrifying her.
She believes that if she and Harry can move away that she can get some respite from the hourly hauntings that take place at Kensington Palace, and hopefully break the super vortex at least. I heard from a mutual friend that Meghan accepts that ghosts will be a daily (and nightly) occurrence, but that she thinks the sheer volume of spirits haunting her will go down in a new location.
That remains to be seen… but our mutual friend has intimated that Meghan hasn’t had her first encounter with a fairy, nor a boggart, so expect another sudden move when that happens. The new location of their home is swarming with both—and Meghan if you’re reading, whatever you do: don’t eat the fairies’ food, no matter how delicious it looks.
We can’t stand to lose another Royal that way.
Header Image Source: Getty
- What if 'Independence Day' with Will Smith is a Warning?
- With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility: Voting for the Pajiba 10 Begins Now
- The 10 Best Movies Of 2019 So Far
- Meghan McCain Wants to Quit 'The View' (WHY, GOD?!)
- 'Yesterday' Is A Love Letter To East Anglia