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Where Do We Go? Where Do We Go Now? Axl Rose Weighs In on the Midterms

By Dustin Rowles | Celebrity | November 6, 2018 |

By Dustin Rowles | Celebrity | November 6, 2018 |


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I skipped school on September 17th, 1991, bought the Use Your Illusion double album from Guns ‘n’ Roses and listened to it all morning in my friend Todd’s car. We wanted to be the first in our school to listen to it, as though that gave us some longlasting bragging rights. I regret nothing. It was the last GnR album that mattered (no one cared about Spaghetti Incident, and by the time Chinese Democracy had been released, Guns ‘n’ Roses didn’t even resemble itself anymore.

Axl Rose has changed a lot over the years, though, and for the better. In 1988, Axl Rose rightfully caught a lot of sh*t for his song “One in a Million,” which stirred considerable controversy for its homophobic and racist language. Here’s how the NYTimes put it:

With “One in a Million” on “G ‘n’ R Lies,” the band tailored its image to appeal to white, heterosexual, nativist prejudices, denouncing blacks, immigrants and gays while coyly apologizing “to those who may take offense” in the album notes.

That sounds an awful lot like our President, doesn’t it? No wonder he’s been playing Guns ‘n’ Roses at his rallies. But woke 2018 Axl Rose does NOT approve.

Axl Rose has come a long way, folks. Live and Let Die, I suppose. Axl Rose is tired of Donald Trump’s Double Talkin’ Jive, and he wants Democrats to Get in the Ring. And I know that sometimes it feels like we’re Beating a Dead Horse, but he’s asking voters to help prevent another Civil War by heading out into the November Rain — take the Nighttrain, if necessary — and practice some Patience while standing in line to vote. Yes, even you, Mr. Brownstone. It’s So Easy.

Let’s turn this Jungle into Paradise City, Sweet Child O’ Mine.

(I’m sorry. The staff made me do it.)