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What the F**k Are You Doing with Your Life, Chris Evans?

By Dustin Rowles | Celebrity | September 18, 2014 |

By Dustin Rowles | Celebrity | September 18, 2014 |


Chris Evans is an incredible Captain America. He is perfect. In addition to that, based on the interviews I’ve read with him, he is an unexpectedly candid, thoughtful and insightful actor, who — like lot of talented people — is often a victim of his own neurosis and insecurity. It wasn’t that long ago when Evans was suggesting in interviews that he’d planned to quit acting after he exhausted the Captain America franchise because he was frustrated by the system and because nobody ever saw his best work.

This week, his directorial debut premiered at the Toronto Film Festival, and it’s a … romantic comedy that he is co-starring in along with Alice Eve? God bless the guy for trying, and for wanting to present a more thoughtful, introspective side of himself, but reviews have been generous but negative. That is to say, most critics are writing something along the lines of, “We really like Chris Evans. We really appreciate that he’s trying to branch out. He seems like a really swell guy. This movie is very bad.”

And then there is Playing it Cool. Maybe you saw the trailer that Vivian posted earlier this week. It’s a romantic comedy about a writer who is writing a romantic comedy, and I think there’s supposed to be an element of parody or satire in it, but OH MY GOD IT’S SO BAD. I’m hoping against hope that the marketing is merely highlighting all the rom-com cliches that the movie itself is sending up and treating them as straight forward when in fact they are subversive.

Otherwise, I have no idea what to make of this.

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Those are actual images. From a movie. Designed to entice you to want to see it.

Chris Evans, ladies and gentlemen. The lead in one of the best Marvel installments yet (Winter Soldier) and the star of one of 2014’s best movies, Snowpiercer. He could land practically any movie he wanted, and he chose to be a f**king snow wizard in a romantic comedy in which he tries on clothes at a thrift shop and dresses as though he’s the member of a boy band making a 20s’ gangster music video.

Is it possible that Chris Evans really does want to quit acting, and he’s trying to force Marvel’s hand by ruining his own reputation?

Almost certainly not. But dude: This has to stop.