Pop quiz hotshots, I’m about to present to you a riddle that I’d like you to consider for a second, and only a second, because let’s be honest: this riddle isn’t going to save your life by having a creature who was once like you but was corrupted by a magical ring not eat you if you can’t answer it. That day is coming for all of us, eventually, so let’s make hay while the sun shines!
I want you to think about what Meghan Markle, Barack Obama, and Billy Bob Thornton. Specifically what do they have in common?
Now, there are obvious answers to consider here:
Each have a personal connection to the movie Sling Blade. I mean, look, try as I might, I cannot make personal inroads with Markle or Obama (Thornton is open to being my friend, but I don’t really want to have to go see his band play, so we’re kind of at a detente at the moment.) The point being is that maybe all three have a personal connection to Thornton’s movie Sling Blade. Perhaps it was the movie that inspired Meghan to become an actor, and Obama to not become an actor? It is a possibility.
All three have been to England at some point, but probably not all at the same time. Now, I know what you’re thinking—if the three haven’t been in the same place at the same time, we may have to consider that there is some sorcery at play here and we may not be dealing with three separate people. I agree, but unfortunately my resources are limited this morning as to how deeply I can go investigate this but I encourage you to follow the money, here. That said, it would be safe to say that each of these people have been to England at some point in their lives because England isn’t a country located in the Atlantic ocean, but a place you keep in your heart, always.
None of them have pet iguanas. I’m going out on a limb here, but yeah, I think it’s safe to say that none of these people have pet iguanas. How do I know this? Well, in Meghan Markle and Barack Obama’s cases, specifically, I doubt that little fact wouldn’t have been weaponized against them in the tabloids or by Turtle McConnell so clearly they don’t have them. In Thornton’s case, I mean, I’m simply guessing, but since none of his songs for his multiple bands are about the deep bond he has with his pet iguana, it’s a pretty safe bet to make here.
By now you’re wondering what this point of all of this is, and I don’t blame you. I frequently wonder that myself but that’s usually in regards to the dioramas I make in my free time, depicting toy mice in Shakespeare plays set in a post-apocalyptic disco wonderland where the atmosphere changed every creature’s DNA to morph our feet/paws into roller skates, and the noises the earth makes now sounds exclusively like The Bee Gees and Kool in the Gang.
Anyway, I just wanted to have a one-sided thought provoking discussion with everyone this morning, and also, it is each of the aforementioned people’s birthdays, but I don’t feel like that’s really pertinent to this conversation, do you?
Header Image Source: Getty