GAWD, Clooney. Restrain yourself, man! What happened to the cool, detached above it all dude that slept with supermodels, drank expensive scotches, and somehow never managed to get drunk? Where’d that guy go, and who is this commoner semi-nervously expressing his love for his bride-to-be in front of a crowded room of strangers. EWWWWW (It’s a humanitarian dinner in Italy, by the way).
SO GROSS, George. You’re worse than Brad now. Why don’t you just start wearing flip-flops and Hawaiian shirts. YOU’VE LET US ALL DOWN.
At least we still have DiCaprio to look up to. He’ll never sell out to the institution of marriage like some low-standing riff raff. HE’S GOT STANDARDS.