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Tom Cruise And Glen Powell Are All Smiles At A 'Twisters' Screening

By Andrew Sanford | Celebrity | July 9, 2024 |

By Andrew Sanford | Celebrity | July 9, 2024 |


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Some people are Human Smiles. Not a human smile as in a smile that a human creates with their mouth. These people are more smile than a person. It doesn’t have to be a big smile, just entrancing; inescapable. When you look at them you are drawn right to their teeth like a squirrel to a bug zapper. This is neither good nor bad. It is teeth, and teeth are all that it is.

One Human Smile is enough to ensnare scores of onlookers. They can frighten, of course. Some use their teeth to entertain. No matter the intent, the result is always the same. Hordes of humans fall at the feet of those with absorbing grins, even if they know not why. Now, imagine putting two together who could cause such attraction. That is what you get when you look at Tom Cruise’s Twitter account.

Behold! Look how triangular their mouths are! Their teeth are whiter than a spokesperson for The Heritage Foundation! Cruise appeared at a screening of Glen Powell’s new film, Twisters, and the two snapped a pic afterward. It is the polar opposite of a candid shot. Not that that is a good or bad thing. The picture is just as staged as staged can be, with both actors flashing their pearly, otherworldly whites with skill and precision.

You do not merely become a Human Smile. Yes, some are born with smiles so captivating you begin to wonder aloud if they’d squeak if you rubbed them. Still, many hone their smiles into social battering rams. Assets that can get them into most rooms, as any security they would encounter would be blinded by the light shining off of your incisors. Tom Cruise and Glen Powell being in the same room is enough smile power to enslave a continent. If one more Human Smile were added to the mix? They could take over the world.

I’m looking at you, Vanessa Bayer.