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The Smoky Flesh of Jennifer Lawrence Will Soon Be Smoothed with Honey, Spiced Orange Zest, and Ginger, Just as Nature Intended

By Dustin Rowles | Celebrity | February 28, 2014 |

By Dustin Rowles | Celebrity | February 28, 2014 |


BiteLabs, a startup designed to prompt widespread discussion about three things we always think of in tandem — bioethics, lab-grown meats and celebrity culture — has set about designing artisanl salami made from celebrities. Though the controversial founders remain anonymous, these celebrity meats are apparently real, and the firm has allegedly begun discussions with New Harvest, a non-profit promoting research into alternatives to conventionally produced meat.

One alternative to conventionally produced meat? In-vitro meat, made from the cells of celebrities like Jennifer Lawrence, Kanye West, and James Franco. The most popular so far? Jennifer Lawrence, because apparently our appetite for more Jennifer Lawrence is more than emotional. It’s cannibalistic.

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Today, according to the Bitelabs website, In-Vitro meat production is close to becoming a reality, offering highly controllable meat production without the animal cruelty, waste, and environmental impacts of industrial farming. But this process can offer so much more than replicas of beef and pork. It can also provide JLaw on a platter.

I wonder what Chris Pratt tastes like? Bratwurst, is my guess, while Mickey Rourke tastes like cigarettes and gristle.

Source: Bitelabs