If you haven’t already been lured into the placid world of ASMR videos, you are probably at least familiar with the concept. ASMR, or autonomous sensory meridian response, is a pleasurable reaction to either auditory or visual stimuli, that’s been likened to a tingling sensation in the scalp and spine. People watch them to relax and to help them sleep. While I don’t get it entirely, I did find myself following a Twitter account called Soap Cutting during one particularly stressful week. And it’s exactly what it sounds like. A lady takes bars of soaps and cuts them with a knife. I don’t get tingles per se, but I do get a charge out of it, especially when she gets into a nice translucent glycerine bar.
ASMR videos are big business on Twitter, Instagram, and YouTube. And since any asshole with an exacto knife or a microphone can make an ASMR video, it’s a pretty crowded field. While whispering women and the opening of packages remain evergreen, the latest trend in ASMR is the advent of the celebrity ASMR.
Why settle for Jane Doe whispering sweet nothings in your ear when you could be listening to Academy Award winning actress Margot Robbie pop champagne and scrape Vegemite onto some dry-ass toast?! Margot did her ASMR video for W Magazine, which has an entire 2-season series of celebrity ASMR videos for your relaxation regimen. Other W ASMR series stars include Salma Hayek, Jake Gyllenhaal, and Gal Gadot.
And if Margot doesn’t do it for you, why not try Mr. Self-Parody In A Bottle himself, Jeff Goldblum, growling out some of his most famous movie quotes in an ASMR video he recorded for Vice.
Janet Jackson’s already well known for her breathless murmuring, so it makes perfect sense that she would quietly dominate the celebrity ASMR game with her natural softspokeness. Watch how she instinctively knows how to werk those damn props. Now that’s control!
I’ve got to tell you, I went pretty far down this rabbit hole and found a true celebrity ASMR QUEEN. While she’s probably the least well known celebrity of the bunch, watching Afro-latina Love & Hip Hop star Amara La Negra dig into a vat of congealed coconut oil with bejeweled fingernails and proceed to moisturize her highly melanated hands, let me know you’re never too old to find a new kink.
Can I get a (very, very quiet) “What-What”?
Header Image Source: YouTube