We Are the Goon Squad and We're Coming to Town: The 2016 Golden Globes Fashion Review

By Cindy Davis | Celebrity | January 11, 2016 |

By Cindy Davis | Celebrity | January 11, 2016 |

It is with heavy and what feels like only half a heart that I finished out this parade of suits and gowns this morning, for we’ve lost a hero and much of my life’s soundtrack. Do me a solid and play this track as you scroll through…

Knockout Dresses:

Portia Doubleday in Naeem Khan (My personal favorite.)

Laverne Cox in Elizabeth Kennedy

Kirsten Dunst in Valentino

Lady Gaga in Versace

Jennifer Lawrence in Dior

Though slightly baggy in the hip area, this is still uniquely beautiful.

Jennifer Lopez in Giambattista Valli

I know, I know; it’s JLo! But she knows how to pick a dress.

Carly Chaikin in Juan Carlos Obando

Brie Larson in Calvin Klein

This looked better on television; here’s it feels like the boobage area is being dragged down.

We Like It, But…

Maggie Gyllenhaal in Marc Jacobs

I just really want to walk up to her and bite off that flower with my teeth. Not a euphamism.

Jamie Alexander in Genny

Fantastic neckwaistline, but we’re uncertain whether the pattern is great, or reminiscent of high end department store wrapping paper.

So Stunningly Gorgeous the Dress Is Transcended:

Viola Davis in Marchesa

Mind you, the dress isn’t terrible; it simply doesn’t do Ms. Davis justice.

Helen Mirren in Badgley Mischka

Mirren’s dress is simple elegance; Helen is a knockout.

Regina King in Krikor Jabotian

King is gorgeous. The dress may have worked, but the curtain hanging behind is a travesty.

Cate Blanchett in Givenchy

This one looked so pretty up close, despite the frumpy middle pattern, and Blanchett was glowing. Unfortunately, the dress seemed to have a tail.

Uzo Aduba in Prabal Gurung

Uzo was gorgeous despite her ill-fitting dress.

We’re Okay, You’re…Just Okay:

These are all lovely dresses, just not standout dresses.

Alicia Vikander in Louis Vuitton

This one really depended upon the camera angle.

Julia Louis Dreyfuss in Lanvin

Taraji P. Henson in Stella McCartney

Saoirse Ronan in Yves Saint Laurent

Caitriona Balfe in Alexander McQueen

Amber Heard in Gucci

Julianne Moore in Tom Ford

Bryce Dallas Howard in Jenny Packham

Emmy Rossum in Armani Prive

America Ferrera in Jenny Packham

Amy Schumer in Prabal Gurung

Joanne Froggatt in Reem Acra

Maura Tierney in Elizabeth Kennedy

Gina Rodriguez in Zac Posen

Everybody Say, “Meh.”

Kate Winslet in Ralph Lauren

Come on, Kate! You’re in a rut. It’s time to find your inner Kidman and step it up a notch.

Amy Adams in Versace

Jennifer Jason Leigh in Roland Mouret

Methinks this is someone else’s dress.

Where Have All the Queens’ Good Dresses Gone?

Natalie Dormer in J. Mendel

Emilia Clarke in Valentino

And speaking of Game of Thrones (related people), someone please find Amanda Peet a stylist.

Amanda Peet in Alexander McQueen

WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?

Kate Hudson in Michael Kors

Not a pool party, Kate.

Sorry Ladies, But This Went Wrong. (Regardless, You’re Gorgeous!)

Rooney Mara in Alexander McQueen

Eva Green in Elie Saab

Leslie Mann in Monique Lhuillier

Melissa Benoist in Monique Lhuillier

This pattern is so wrong.

Felicity Huffman in Lorena Sarbu

Rachel McAdams in Lanvin

Taylor Schilling in Thakoon

All the Pretty Horses Men (aka Sorry, I cannot think straight when I see an Outlander dude)

Sam Heughan

David Oyelowo

Michael Fassbender

Rami Malek

AKA the most adorable Golden Globe first-timer ever.

Eddie Redmayne

Denis O’Hare

AKA We could not love you more if we tried.

Excluded: Leo Give-Me-My-Oscar DiCaprio, because he’s too busy side-eyeing Lady G.

Couples in Couture

Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone

Emmy Rossum and Sam Esmail

Olivia Wilde in Michael Kors and Jason Sudeikis in…Concord Jordan 11s

Lady Gaga and Taylor Kinney

Channing Tatum and Jenna Dewan Tatum (in Zuhair Murad Couture)

Patrick Stewart and Sunny Ozell

Harrison Ford and Calista Flockhart

Jamie Alexander and Peter Facinelli

Kirsten Dunst and Garrett Hedlund

Denzel Washington with his beautiful family.

Cindy Davis, (Twitter)